Dumbing down the 18 and above.

I saw this letter to the Editor of The Star and was gobsmacked reading it!

Censorship lax because of lack of understanding of language

I AGREE with Celeste of Ampang (The Star, Feb 12) that the quality of censorship provided by the censorship board has deteriorated to alarming levels.

It is evident now that many censors have a poor command of the English language or are unaware of societal norms and standards.

This could be due to the fact that most censors are retired officers of the administrative and diplomatic service who have little knowledge and understanding of movies. For the benefit of society at large, the board should recruit more members from the mass media, educationists, writers and film producers.

I recently saw the movie, Rambo 4 in a local cineplex and was astounded when I distinctly heard the words, “f**k off” twice, and the words “pain in the a**e” and “b*****d.”

These words should never have been let through and it is clear that the censor was either sleeping on the job, or worse, did not feel that these are swear words that are not used in polite conversation.

The movie was justifiably given an 18SG rating, but this should not have meant allowing extremely violent scenes through. For example, one scene showed an arrow shot by Rambo piercing the skull of a Myanmar soldier and exiting through his forehead. Another showed Rambo blowing away a whole truckload of soldiers with a machine gun with liberal doses of blood spewing all over the screen.

These scenes should have been censored, as they are extremely violent.

It is hoped that only censors who have a superior knowledge of English be allowed to censor English movies and the same should also apply to Bahasa Malaysia, Mandarin, Cantonese, Tamil and Hindi movies.

ENGLISH MOVIE FAN
Kuala Lumpur

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? This person CANNOT be a movie fan! A true movie fan will not allow his or her movies to be treated with such atrocity.

I don’t think movies should be censored at all. At most, censorship should be minimal! These people don’t understand that things that get snipped off are usually the most important parts of a movie. Yes they are provoking, offensive and even disgusting…but it is these very attributes that solidifies the premise of a film. It is this reason why international movie industries are so big and ours, still stagnant….churning out expensive laughable slapsticks at best.

This is also precisely the reason why many people get all too excited about an accidentally uncut nude scene and subsequently forget an entire story. The truth is, all the systematic and overzealous censorships all these years have effectively dumb down our audience and movie goers.

How on earth are you going to develop a thinking society if you’re going to cut off any remotely offensive thing from the screen? What are you kidding me…..do people get corrupted by every single thing they see on the big screen or television? Only if they are between the age of 2-8 maybe. This is probably the reason why I find so many teenagers so stupid these days…is it because they’re watching too many stupid, thought un-provoking shows on tv?

Take the show F-word on the Food Channel for instance. I mean, I don’t even understand why they allowed it to be showed here in the first place. It’s one hour of beeping if you’re into that sort of aural stimulation. Why bother? Perhaps Malaysia is the only place on earth where Gordon Ramsey is not a rude motherfucking genius….

I applaud the categorisation of movies into U, 18-SG-18-SX and so on. The thing is though, if you’ve acknowledged the fact that we’re 18 and above, give us a damn break and don’t dumb us down. For your information, piracy doesn’t thrive on cheap price alone, them pirates don’t censor.

Tiffany & Co @ Rodeo Drive
Since it’s a movie centred post, here’s my best Breakfast at Tiffany picture. Should have taken me grey jumper off hehehe.

Independent woman, sort of. I tried!

So on the bright morning of Chap Goh Meh or chinese Valentine’s Day, I woke up to a quick breakfast of dimsum and proceeded to fix my car. I was so excited okay, I told the bf already that I would try to change the tyre myself first and commanded that he’d be quiet and just take my pictures.

First, a recap of how bad the tyre was…….

Refresh your memory: punctured tyre
Refresh your memory: punctured tyre

Changing a tyre really isn’t that difficult. Among the precautions to take are:

    1. Park at a safe place if you could help it (ie: emergency lane, somewhere with less oncoming vehicles, basically just use your common sense ok)
    2. Switch on your hazard lights (they are not for use during heavy rain where visibility has deteriorated!)
    3. Take out that reflective triangle thing and put it at least 10 metres away from your car.
    4. Lastly, if the place where you’re stranded is still not safe, leave the tyre and summon for help!

Okay enough of them horse shit, lets begin the most crucial steps – changing the tyre!

First of all, find your spare tyre. It’s usually located at the back of your car, so open up the boot and get it out.

Clear the boot.
Clear the boot.

Lift up the piece of board at the base of your boot space. You will find a spare tyre underneath it.

Spare tyre.
Spare tyre.

When was the last time you pump air into your spare tyre? A month ago? 6 months ago? Never? If you have not pumped air into your spare tyre before or found the very idea of it foreign to you, stop now and start dialling for help. You’re screwed, darling.

On the other hand, if you’re not screwed yet…..unscrew the tyre by turning that hub thing in the middle of your tyre.

Unscrewing the tyre.
Unscrewing the spare tyre from the boot space.

Now find that elusive car jack.

Car jack
Car jack.

If you’re driving a Kelisa like me, you’ll probably find that thing a little too stubborn to be removed. That’s because it’s been intentionally locked. Turn the thing with holes on the side to loosen the jack from its lockup. Just like this…

Loosening the jack.
Loosening the jack.

After getting the jack out it’s time to lift up your car. Make sure that all the brakes are engaged.

If you are on a slope, place a brick or large rock right behind your tyre if you’re facing uphill or in front of it you’re facing downhill. I mean, would you like to see your car violently falling off your car jack and have an an eye or two injured?

Check for the area to place your jack right beneath your car doors.

Place your jack here.
Place your jack here.

Jack in place.
The jack in place.

Check out my busted tyre, man.

Busted tyre.
Busted.

I was lucky that it was already completely flat before I started the car. I could have driven the car away, not felt a single thing and had the tyre exploded in motion. That could have been the end of me. So ladies and gentlemen, always be aware of the condition of your tyres.

And now, it’s really time to lift up your car. Crank up the jack like what I’m doing here. I used this stick thing from the tool bag that came with my car. It looked like some ancient Egyptian ornament.

Epgytian Royal ornament.
It looks like that.

Cranking it up.
Cranking it up….

Still cranking it up....
Still cranking it up….

Stop cranking when it’s reached the right height. Which means when there’s ample space for the tyre to slide out and not get stuck. Don’t get the car up too high though, it’s dangerous!!

Behold the moment of truth……..

Removing a flat tyre.
(Trying) to remove a flat tyre.

Now, can you tell me what’s wrong with the last picture?

Can?

I’m pushing against the wrong direction -_-. And I shouldn’t be loosening the nuts when the car’s suspended! IT’S VERY DANGEROUS!!!

How on earth did I know this? After all those hassle, I still couldn’t remove the damn tyre. Called my mechanic and he had it settled in 10 minutes. Total damage including 3 new tyres, fixing a dented rim and ordinary servicing….RM615.

Defeated.
Defeated.

I tried to be an independent woman…..I really did.

Boob scare and stupid man.

sunny^kimberly says:
eh they can’t unscamble my mosaics pictures rite?

sunny^kimberly says:
i was atcually naked!

.: www.shaolintiger.com :. says:
nah

.: www.shaolintiger.com :. says:
only for text

.: www.shaolintiger.com :. says:
can sometimes decipher the text underneath

.: www.shaolintiger.com :. says:
cos it produces reproduceable patterns

sunny^kimberly says:
ah okies

.: www.shaolintiger.com :. says:
not like anyway one has a database of boobs they can reverse engineer your squares too

sunny^kimberly says:
lol

sunny^kimberly says:
just checking…scared mah

++++++

Had a fight with the boyfriend over dinner. I wanted to have lamb shank at Marmalade for the past week and he had said he would take me there. I was all made up and ready to go but he kept tapping on at his keyboard for Utopia -_-. After over an hour of waiting, I asked him whether we would still want to go out and you know what he did? He shrugged his shoulders and said, “guess so”. I got even more pissed! I only had two slices of garlic bread the whole day and was starving and was in no state of mind for complete apathy.

I waited for a little bit more, then I yelled, “fine” and ate two slices of bread, which were a bit stale. As I was chomping on the stale bread, I felt even more cheated. I mean, gawd, I drove all the way to his place to spend time with him and he would rather play his f–king Utopia. That game doesn’t even have moving graphics!

So I stopped chomping and started packing my clothes to head back to my parents’. He saw me packing and to his credit, he came out of his study and watched me pack. But listen to this, he just watched. Just watched ok, not a single word from his mouth, not a single apology. Didn’t even ask me to stay. What really really pissed me off was that he had the nerves to ask me to stay for several more days the day before. Arghhh.

Anyway, I got hungry again half way through packing and decided to finish up my stale bread. I felt so pathetic ok! Then I carried all my bags out and he still carried on watching and didn’t say a word. Men are stupid.

Finally I got into my car and was breathing sigh of relief. At least I could go back to where there is Astro on Demand and hokkienmee and where only I bully people and not get bullied.

As my car rolled barely 10 metres down the road, I started to hear this weird rumbling sound and then my car started veering to the left. Stopped the car and found a puncture on the front right tyre. F–k f–kity f–k!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drove back and parked even further from where I parked before and had to haul my bags back in again.

Punctured tyre.
Punctured tyre.

Punctured tyre.
Close-up.

And found the boyfriend watching tv!

Anyway, long story short. We made up but of course, I made the initiative (need someone to fix the tyre omg). I ended up eating Micky D’s porridge and fried chicken.

I just need to find a way to delete Utopia from his life.

So, do you think I’m being unreasonable here? I do believe he’s just emotionally inept as with other men. Have your bf/hubbies driven you crazy like that? OMG tell me please cause I can feel another wave of rage coming up (I admit I’m a pyscho!).