Confession of a Closet Contester.

I’ve been trying to paint this stupid logo for the past 13 hours. Still it’s one ugly shit. This is fucking taxing. I’m very grouchy now. But I want to win RM30k.

Everytime I enter a contest, I’m almost sure victory is mine. In 2002, I thought the beemer in the controversial The Star Bumper Crossword Puzzle was mine. Why? Cause I submited 30 entries. 30 fucking entries, that’s 120 newspapers. The fucker who took my beemer submited only ONE entry. As if that’s not painful enough, he also won the previous bumper puzzle. It’s a fucking conspiracy!!

I entered the recent Mother’s Day Greetings Contest. Thought I could score a massage chair for Mom and some moolah for myself. But what the fuck, they didn’t even give me a consolation prize. My poem was so original ok, I should have bloody won.

She knew it’s her duty
When I hit puberty
To feed me herbal jelly
While I clutched my belly
(bla bla bla…there’s more but I can’t remember :P) That should be a winner, right? Say yes. SAY YES.

Contests in Malaysia are really suspicious. But yet I’m a willing fool. Especially when the prizes offered are attractive. I remember reading this article about a local dude who participated in some SMS contest. He chalked up to more than RM20k of text in hope of winning the grand prize of a million Ringgit (if I have not mistaken) but alas he didn’t win. Anyway, he discovered that the winner had not sent as much SMS as him so he’s pissed, made some brouhaha that eventually died down. He did trigger warnings regarding SMS contests though.

Now I’m seeing this SMS voting thing for American Idol. But I wonder whether anyone have noticed that at the end of the tv advert it says that the voting does not affect the results in America. First of all, the advert is very misleading. You can’t help but think that you would be voting in the American poll till you see the disclaimer. Secondly, I think it’s a fucking con job. Like why would you want to vote if it does not affect the American results? I talked to someone about this and he said that if the poll is meant to find out the local’s favourite, then it would be legitimate. But wouldn’t that be a survey? Isn’t it absurd to pay for doing a survey?

So I googled more on this SMS voting. Apparently it’s a contest. The site is rather vague and all I could make of it is that whoever voted the contestant with the highest number of votes in America would win the prizes. So anyway, I still think the tv advert is a conjob. Cause people are being mislead into thinking they’re helping their favourite contestants inch towards victory but really, they are getting duped into participating in some dodgy contest.

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