How do you define a friend? Who are your friends to you? Are they a source of comfort or are they just people you add on Facebook?
This week I’ve had a couple of friends confiding to me about their problems with their other friends. Some were purely misunderstandings, which is common in any relationship but then there are the serious ones which beckon the question: Why are they psychotic people in this world?
These people use and abuse their friends, spread lies to gain trust and play friends against each other just so they could be everybody’s best buddy. These people boast about their capabilities to help you but although finally end up with none of their promises materialised, they are still thick-faced enough to set you on a guilt-trip to help them because their intentions to help you in the first place were “pure and honest”?
Seriously, is there some sort of chemical imbalance in their brains? Is it upbringing? Is it something in their DNAs? I really don’t know but what I do know is that I’m appalled beyond comprehension by the behaviour of these people.
I mean, don’t get me wrong. I don’t claim to be the best person to be friends with. I am callous, I am bitchy to a fault, I cuss all the time, I’m embarrassing when drunk, I have ego the size of Jupiter and recently, I’m so incredibly stingy that “Kimberly” is becoming the new “scrooge”. But despite all that, I can’t imagine ever in my life to lie to a friend about another friend because I yearn to be his or her best friend? I can’t involve my friends in business deals that don’t benefit each other. I can’t ever put my friends in a position where they’ll be pressured to pay for anything that benefits me. I won’t offer to help my friends in anything unless I know for a fact that I’m really capable of doing so because I don’t want to put my friends in a position where they are afraid of offending me in case they chose somebody else more capable to help them. And more importantly, I don’t want them to lose an opportunity to be helped better because they accepted an offer from someone less capable like me.
And why do I have all these personal rules? Well, simply because I don’t ever want to be at the receiving ends in the situations above. Because it’s common sense. Because friends don’t lure you into a tight spot. Friends don’t use you for personal or business gains. Friends don’t act all nice and kind in front of you but make up nasty stories about you to other people. Friends are naturally proud for you if you achieved something good. Friends are supposed to make you happy, not constantly worried about what kind of stupid shit they’re going to come out with next.
I’m very lucky that I have a group of close-knitted friends whom I trust 100%. Recently, I had some friendship problems of my own too. There was a pair of two-faced couple who almost ruined my group of friends with lies, tricks and more lies but I’m glad to say that they have been successfully weeded out and banished from our lives forever. So what I want to say to those friends who confided in me, don’t lose hope. We all meet psychotic people at various points of our lives but they come and go. Just focus on your real friends who will stick by you through thick and thin.
That said, if you have difficulty of retaining any true friend for more than 1 year, seriously you should get yourself admitted into a psychotic hospital you crazy assholes.