The other day, I don’t remember when, I got to know that one of my former schoolmates is an owner of an event management company. A few beauty pageants lately were all (successfully) organised by her company.

My first rush of emotion was utter jealousy. How could it be? She was dumb. She was in a dumb class! How did it happen? We are of the same age but I’m still eating off my mommy’s palm. Is it because of her filthy rich father? Is it because she’s really a whiz beneath the exterior? What is it?

In an attempt to compose myself, I try to recollect the slightest clues that could have contributed to her success. It took me the whole night and frankly I was so bothered I did not fall asleep. I could even feel my heart palpitating abnormally, that was how disturbed I was.

Why Kim, you’re a sore loser.

I suppose I was. It was hard to stomach the fact that someone who used to be considered a blacksheep at school is somebody now. And yes, for a second, my self-esteem hit rock-bottom. I felt like a handicap.

Under my sheltered life, it seems normal to live with my parents, eat from their pockets and be all manja. But is this really normal? I can’t help but be bothered by the possibility of missing out to my peers as I indulge in a hedonistic existence, oblivious to reality. It’s a suffocating thought.

The scariest part is, I don’t know how to break free.

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