Car conundrum.

I’m about to make the biggest personal purchase of my life. A car. A freaking car that will depreciate by half in 5 years (yikes).

Here’s my problem. I can’t bring myself to buy just any car. One that I can actually afford. One that is reliable and have high resale value but oh so boring it makes me nauseous and my skin crawls. The boyfriend said I’m being overly dramatic. I’m not.

Can you imagine how I drive my Kelisa for 6 long years without getting sick all over the dashboard? I also don’t know how I managed. I guess it has to do with the fact that my parents bought it for me. I suppose not actually owning it makes me feel like it’s a temporary arrangement, me and my Kelisa. And soon, she will head into another temporary relationship with my little brother. Yes, it’s a she.

It doesn’t mean I never loved Kelisa, I did very much, still do. I remember the very first time I drove her, the smell of new plastic and the sheer pride in my stomach. I remember the comparisons I made between her and my very first car, the Kancil (which basic rims I sprayed white to match the car’s exterior, my gawd I’m such an Ah Beng) and how sad I felt when the handbrake felt loose after I lend her to my brother for a couple of weeks. I remember every accident I had been in with her. Bullying 4WDs on the road. Pushing 140kmh in Penchala Tunnel. Naughty things that happened inside her. Ah, memories.

I felt all these for her but yet I still long to drive a different car. And now that I finally can, I feel like I’m abandoning her. And I feel like she will be sad. I think it’s my hoarding complex. Maybe I’m just crazy. I hope my little brother will treat her well, because she treated me really well.

So I have been considering a lot about buying this new car. Age vs resale value. 2 door vs 4 door. Horsepower vs maintenance costs. 5 year loan to ensure reasonable equity for a better car in the future or 9 year loan driving a much sweeter car but face the risks of negative equity.

The biggest problem I face now though is I just can’t simply dump my hard-earned deposit onto a car I’m neutral about. I need to like it. I need to feel cool pulling out of a parking space. I need it to match my designer bags that I’ll be buying (which I haven’t because they don’t match poor Kelisa. There you go, another complex in the life of me :P). There’s only one thing I know, I want a used car because the mere mention of depreciation makes me grouchy, like you wouldn’t believe.

I’ve set an appointment to test drive a car this weekend. It’s European and it’s only 2 years old. It’s rare which I like but a bit too rare that I’m marginally nervous about the maintenance and spare parts. Not particularly striking looks but it’s got space. It’s going to cost me so much I won’t be able to afford designer bags to match it anymore :( But instead of 140kmh max, I could hit 180kmh and that’s by far the biggest draw.

I should probably just get an Accord but I’m choosing to go to hell.