Category: Retail/Services Reviews

Ipanema, Mickey D and mossies.

I really hate it when my tummy starts to grumble after a heavy dinner. Tonight was one of those nights. Probably because I forgot to have lunch. I wish I can conveniently forget to have lunch all the time, man. I’d be super thin :P

Anyway, I pestered the boo to take me out for supper at McDonald’s. Actually, I probably shouldn’t use the word “pestered” because as far as pestering goes, it was a piece of cake. Mission accomplished in less than 10 minutes, w00t!

Ipanema
My new ocean blue Ipanema.

Check out my new pair of Ipanema. Honestly, it’s really not the design I wanted. I’m such a klutz I can’t wear thong sandals, I’ll either trip or lose the freakin slippers.

So I’ve been seaching high and low for the same pair of Gisele Bundchen Ipanema I bought in ’06 because wearing them, trust me, is like walking on air. They’ve lasted me through tough conditions…..beach escapades and a pretty rough trek through wet jungle and waterfalls. If it weren’t for the slightly faded colours and the 3-D flowers that were chewed off by rodents, I wouldn’t even need to get a new pair. But I can’t find them anywhere!!!

I heard on the radio that Gisele Bundchen’s latest range is here already, so hopefully I’ll get to replace my current pair soon. By any chance any of you know where I can get real Ipanema with the ankle strap, let me know, pretty please!

Gisele Bundchen Ipanema.
My Gisele Bundchen Ipanema. Le sigh…

Sorry, I veered. Back to Mickey Ds!

On the way, I pole danced for my boo bee.

Pole dancer.
If a career in PR doesn’t work out, I can always opt to pole dance, aye.

So sexy for my love, so sexy for my love so sexy it hurts. Uh uh.

I present you my most, most, most favourite food in Mickey D!

Can you guess what it is?

Can you guess?
Can you guess what is it yet?

Fried chicken and porridge????

Can you guess yet?
Any idea?

Fried chicken skin in MSG laden rice porridge, hell yeah! The word is monosodiumglutamate ok. I didn’t even check the dictionary, w00ts.

Fried chicken skin in rice porridge.
Fried chicken skin in rice porridge. Should be made illegal lor.

Then….as luck would have it. I suddenly got hit by the most urgent diarrhoea (I checked the dic this time) ever. Needed to go so bad, omg. Abandoned my sinful porridge and rushed into the loo.

Thank goodness there were toilet papers AND water. The following are screen shots of myshoutout (eh, follow me my shoutouts lah…only one follower so sien -_-), if you would like to have a better idea of what transpired.

Part 1
Part 1.

Part 2
Part 2.

I felt like a giant tampon okay, the mosquitoes won’t leave me alone to shit in peace, omg!

Then, then this fella went into the cubicle next door and pissed soooooOoo loud I was almost sure it’s a man. I mean, isn’t it possible that first he pees, then he rapes me. It was 12.30am in the morning at Mickey D’s toilet, which is away from the main restaurant.

Anyway, noisy pisser left…I heard the steps and door opened. I calmed down a bit and started surfing on my Nokia N95.

I don’t know how long time passed after, but when I got out, boo was already in his car…pretty pissed at me.

Battle of the Tongue Cleaners.

Tongue Scrapers. I wonder how many people actually use them. Heck, I wonder how many even know what it is. Well, it’s not the fancy name of a new candy in town.

When I first saw the incriminating pictures of Edison Chen and Cecilia Cheung, the first thing that hit me was Cecilia Cheung’s tongue. Seriously, would you put your private bits on that waxy, cheese coated tongue? Okay maybe if the tongue belongs to someone that does look like Cecilia Cheung, but not everyone looks like her, you know what I mean. So hang on, check the tongue before your bits fall off to the ground.

Cecilia Cheung's dirty tongue.
Dirty tongue. Eh shit, forgot to censor his pubes -_-

If by now you’re still in the dark…Tongue Scraper is used for scrapping your yellow (or in some cases white), waxy tongues during your oral hygienic rituals.

My mom is an active proponent for the usage of Tongue Scrapers, and like her I’ve grown attached to the unassuming piece of plastic. And that is why, I am so bothered by the impending doom of my beloved tongue scraper.

Tongue scraper
Tongue Scraper.

I had a bleak revelation while out shopping trying to find a decent Tongue Scraper for my boyfriend, who had promptly dropped his into the toilet bowl. And I thought shopping for the perfect shoes was hard. It seems like Tongues Scrapers are slowly being phased out and replaced by it’s bigger and fatter cousin, I call it the Fatty Boom Boom. And I just, for the life of me can’t understand why is this happening?

Fatty Boom Boom
Fatty Boom Boom….slowly replacing the humbler, leaner Tongue Scraper.

So I did some research and came out with these comparisons. I call it, the Battle of the Tongue Cleaners.

PRICE

After an exhausting search for the elusive Tongue Scraper, I gave up and succumbed to the bulky Fatty Boom Boom. For RM3 freaking 90. It was actually the cheapest one I could find. The price of Fatty Boom Booms range from RM3.90 to up to RM18.90, and they all look the same – bulky.

The old school Tongue Scrapers? They cost about RM3.50 for THREE and they last forever.

And so, in battle of the price……Tongue Scraper wins.

RM3.50 for 3.
RM3.50 for 3.

SIZE

The Tongue Scraper measures 14.5cm in length and 0.5 cm at its widest.

The Fatty Boom Boom measures 12cm in lenghth and a ghastly 4cm at its widest.

Which one would you bring on a trip? Which one would fit better in your Ikea embellished puny apartment?

And with the spirit of minimising everything in these modern times, it’s absolutely Neanderthal to turn Tongue Scrapers into something bigger.

And so…in the Battle of the Size, Tongue Scraper wins.

Lean, slim and portable.
Lean, slim and portable.

MAINTENANCE

Lets have a look at both tongue cleaning tools again.

Fatty Boom BoomTongue Scraper.

Which one do you think is easier to clean?

Due to the ergonomic of the Tongue Scraper it will take about 3 seconds to wash off all the gunk.

As for the Fatty Boom Boom, lets see…..1 second to get your fingers caught, a couple of minutes to wash the gunk off, another couple of minutes to REALLY get the gunk off, a couple of minutes to get the gunk off the bends and corners, a few more minutes to wash your hands.

Fast forward to 2 hours later, more sunlight. You’re wide awake. Nature calls. You enter your bathroom, see dried tongue gunk on your Fatty Boom Boom and you have to wash it again. And because the gunk has already fossilised, you have to use your finger nails to scrape the shit off. Who’s cleaning who now?

It’s a fast paced life we’re living now and would you want to spend 10 minutes cleaning a f–king tool used to scrape your tongue?

Winner….Tongue Scraper.

Low maintenance.
Low maintenance.

AVAILABILITY

Once upon a time, Tongue Scrapers were as common as your toothbrush. But that’s no longer the case. For the oddest reason, this nifty apparatus is fast disappearing from the market shelves and is being replaced by the big bad Fatty Boom Boom. Personally, I don’t know why this is happening. Perhaps this is an opportunity for unscrupulous companies to get more money by introducing another cleaning tool in the near future, one for cleaning your Fatty Boom Boom.

So, in the Battle of Availability, the Fatty Boom Boom reigns.

It's everywhere!
It’s everywhere!

OVERALL WINNER

The winner of the overall Battle of the Tongue Cleaners is…………Tongue Scraper!

All around winner.
Champion of the world.

Bring my Tongue Scrapers back! omg

Annoying.

What’s annoying is that I spent RM200 on a gorgeous pair of metallic gold shoes and they pinched and ate into my poor feet like a disease. Hurt so fucking bad. Poor feet…

I should have known when she said they were exclusively designed here but made in China. The operative word here is, “China”.

God, I’m such a sucker sometimes.

I’ve never worn a single pair of disposable Vincci that fucked up my feet. Not even the sky high stilettos. Boo said that’s because I have a pair of generic feet and they have to make do with generic shoes. I know….he thinks he’s so subtle, right?

But my feet was hurting so bad I could barely move, let alone throw a punch.

I guess it’s back to disposable footwear for me. Damn…