Poonani Kiwi: Lost in Jungle

Poonani Kiwi, the bandit queen of the town hidden away from peace loving and environmentally unconscious societies has loitered away from her town right into the biggest, scariest, greenest and most tropical jungle.

She walked and she walked, hoping to stumble back into her town but to no avail. Occasionally, creatures of the jungle roof would startle her and she would look up menacingly to scare away whatever it was.

After walking for days, with no food supplies but only a hammer, she noticed a weird creature on the ground of the biggest, scariest, greenest and most tropical jungle. Lo and behold, it was a penguin. Not just any penguin, but a cellulite ridden penguin adorned with pearls with the most massive boobs Poonani Kiwi has ever seen on a penguin.

Now Poonani Kiwi has not eaten for many days. Naturally, she was starving like an Ethiopian child. The moment she set eyes on the penguin, her stomach gave out the most horrifying growl in the entire jungle’s history. Even the jungle spirits were spooked.

With her hammer, she approached the cellulite ridden penguin adorned with pearls with the most massive boobs. In her mind, she had only one objective. To kill and feast.

The penguin, upon seeing Poonani Kiwi’s maniac expression knew instantly what was befalling her. Penguin ran. Penguin screamed for her dear life.

But Poonani Kiwi was simply too fast for the puny penguin. It didn’t help matter that her massive boobs were slowing her down. Alas, Poonani Kiwi caught the penguin.

With one strike to the head, Poonani Kiwi killed the penguin.

The penguin was a good catch indeed. Its massive boobies managed to feed Poonani Kiwi for 3 whole weeks. Poonani Kiwi never stopped walking. She walked and she ate the penguin’s boobs. Then she walked more and ate more penguin’s boobs. Sometimes she slept too but it wasn’t a very common activity.

One day, as she walked, the greeneries began to fade and eventually she saw a building. It was nothing similar to the buildings in her town but she was happy as she knew she would soon see some human faces.

Poonani Kiwi saw a logo on the walls of the building and wondered what it was. She has arrived……..

…..at the land where peace loving and environmentally unconscious societies reside. And then she fainted out of sheer exhaustion. Nobody heard from Poonani Kiwi ever again.

The truth was, a kind couple had taken Poonani Kiwi. Perhaps extremely traumatised by her experience in the biggest, scariest, greenest and most tropical jungle, she had lost her memory. The kind couple treated her like their own daughter. Today, Poonani Kiwi has developed a taste for champagne and chicken wings.

However, it remained a mystery to her as to why everytime she saw a penguin on television, she felt like reaching into the box to grab the creature and chew on it.

THE END

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