Sometimes I look back and wonder if there’s anything I should have done more before becoming a mom.
The answer is: Hells yeah!!!! There are so many okay!
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret being a mummy. I have no regrets about motherhood – I enjoy being a mom, I love it and I thrive at it.
But, I believe there are many things that non-parents should do a lot more before becoming parents, not because you lose out after becoming parents (okay maybe just a little bit lol) but because I feel that you should maximise your time as a single.
I am not remotely suggesting that parenthood is lacking in anything (I lied, you lack of sleep like all the time). In fact, I have never felt so sure about my position in life after giving birth to Liam. But you, know I am #justsayin
Anyway here are the things that I wish I had done a lot more before popping out a mini human:
1. Travel more
I wish we had travelled a lot more before having a baby. Before Liam, our only consideration was whether we could afford the holiday.
# – And having 11kg resting on your legs for hours in a cramped plane. Nice!
Now, there are many considerations before going anywhere. From “Have I downloaded enough videos and brought enough toys to keep the bub occupied for the entire duration of the flight?, “Are there bassinet seats available in the plane?”, “Does the hotel bathroom have non-slip mat so that neither of us could accidentally fall and crack open our heads while wrangling a toddler in the shower?”, “Is there a a swimming pool?”, “Is swimming pool shaded?”, “Are there non-spicy food available?”, “Is there king-sized bed?” (omg king sized please always forever if you’re co-sleeping) and many, many more things that you would have to consider as a parent in foreign territories.
Once in Belgium, we were ejected from a bread and breakfast after a long drive because it did not allow anyone under 12…so read hotel description properly before booking.
2. Sleep more
I can’t emphasise this more. Sleep as much as you can. Don’t take your 12-hour sleep for granted because once you’ve got kids, 4 hour straight of snoozing is a gawddamn miracle.
# – Sleep is for the weak, says Liam.
There’s a thing called STTN that’s pretty popular in the parent community; it means “Sleeping Through The Night”. Some people claim to have achieved it, while some wonder if their 8 hours sleep with three brief waking-ups to soothe a toddler is considered STTN (it’s not). Well, let me tell you that shit is as real as a bloody unicorn.
3. Dive more
I wish I had gone on more dive trips with the husband. We do fantasise about going on island trips and sneak in a couple of dives but taking turns while one of us watches the baby. How fun? -__-
# – This is as close to scuba diving as it gets for me now.
It’ll be 8 more years before Liam is even old enough to get his own dive certification. I suppose we could do snorkelling trips instead so we don’t have to wait so long for him to join us in the water.
4. Go to the cinema more
We haven’t been to a cinema for almost 2 years now. As with scuba diving, we also considered taking turns to go to cinema alone while the other person watches baby.
# – Now permanently stuck with an annoying audience who obstructs the screen.
To think that we watched a film at IMAX almost every other week pre-Liam. Thankfully our movie setup at home is decent and we could still continue watching movies, albeit with many pauses to tend to a needy toddler. A 2-hour movie could easily become a 3.5 hour affair.
5. Earn more money
I don’t think I am as financially secure as I like. I wish I was better with investing my money when I was younger instead of spending them all on frivolous shit.
# – Liam making it rain.
Having a child is expensive if you want the best for him or her. From the monthly doctor visit during pregnancy to food, clothings, etc now. My main concern is education and since sending Liam to a government school is completely out of the question and private education in Malaysia is going to cost a kidney and a liver, I better win the friggin’ lottery.
6. Go on more romantic dates
I remember being overjoyed being able to go grocery shopping with the husband when my mom-in-law was visiting 8 months after Liam was born!
If you don’t have hired help or a close family support (aka babysitters), your life will pretty much involve baby ALL THE TIME. I do enjoy spending all my time with Liam but I also miss having a quiet dinner with just my man where I get to dress up and all.
# – Managed to palm Liam off to my friend Ally who watched him for a few hours while we celebrated husband’s birthday in March. What a treat!
I am lucky that my husband is understanding and he’s into attachment parenting as much as I am, but we both still really value and appreciate getting some precious couple time. That said it’s just the two of us for like 8 years before Liam came so I shouldn’t complain, right?
Nooooo, can never have too much romance!
Does my post make you feel like you don’t want to have children at all? LOL
Well, parenthood on paper is like the single most stupid thing that one could do to self. It’s expensive, it’s time consuming and it’s bloody emotional. Don’t do it!!!!
But I am also going to be very cheesy and truthful and say it is the single most fulfilling thing I have ever done. No amount of work success or material gain could ever top the pleasure I get from having Liam.
All that said, of course I can still do all these things that I say I am missing with Liam around, just that it will involve a lot more planning, creativity, and patience. If you don’t have those qualities while you’re single, trust me you will gain those in record time once you got a baby.