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Dedicated to Tom Cruise.

I know exactly how the girls that love Robert Pattinson feel because I felt exactly like that after I had watched Interview with the Vampire (which coincidentally got me to hate Brad Pitt for many, many years for being a wussy, rat blood drinking vampire. For the record, I don’t hate Brad Pitt anymore).

At 10 years old I was in love and wanted to be a vampire.

A couple of years later, I watched Jerry Maguire and I decided that I wanted to become Tom Cruise’s wife. Instead of hating Brad Pitt I chanelled all my energy into hating Nicole Kidman instead.

Also, around the same time, I had just gotten my first access to the world wide web so I was able to find a lot of information about Thomas Cruise Mapother IV (which explains why my old hotmail address is kimberly_mapother@hotmail.com).

It was also the time where I found out about Scientology. Even at that age I was trying to figure out how I could become Tom Cruise’s wife. The best chance for me was to either become an actress or become a Scientologist. I quickly realised that the latter was far more achievable. I signed up at a Scientology website for more information.

A few weeks later, I got a stack of documents sent to my house from a Church of Scientology. In the documents were information about Scientology, how to set up a church in Malaysia and how I could spread the wonderful teachings of L. Ron Hubbard. I was 12.

Luckily for you all, I was too lazy otherwise today I could have been a badass cult leader with Tom Cruise as my husband, of course.

# – I don’t own this one.

I admit, my affections have been divided through the years….Christian Bale in American Psycho, Alex Skarsgaard in True Blood.

Lets not forget my latest object of lust – Michael Fassbender in Shame. Why? Imagine a naked man standing with his back to you. Now, can you seen the end of his flacid fun sausage between his legs??? IMAGINE IT! CAN YOU!?

Because with Michael Fassbender, you can.

Sorry, I digressed.

I know in the past few years I have sort of denied liking Tom Cruise because of his OTT behaviour but deep down inside I still hold a torch for the man. And for heaven’s sake I have never even caught a glimpse of his naked butt!

Anyway I don’t know why I’m blogging this randomness, maybe because I feel a little sorry for Tom after reading about his impending divorce. I feel so bad for Tom I just want to hug him. If you’re reading this Tom Cruise, I want to hug you and stroke your hair. Still, always and forever.

# – Gareth made this for me some years ago <3



++++ADVERTORIAL BREAK+++++

I was at the National Zoo last Friday for the launch of Celcom First Voice plans, a range of superior voice plans that will let Celcom customers (such as myself!) step up to more innovative and advantageous services for an optimum customer experience.

Pretty good stuff, the plans have features such as real time calculation of charges, auto upgrade of lower rate when usage hits the next tier, smart menu and many more. Check out for yourself at Celcom’s website.

# – Launch of Celcom First Voice.

In conjunction with the launch, Celcom has adopted an elephant named Teriang, a 32-year-old Asian elephant that symbolically represents the new direction of Celcom First – power, loyalty, and a desire to always reach for the top.

# – Hi Teriang! Or “Accidentally Happy”, according to Celcom’s CEO, Dato’ Sri Shazalli Ramly.

The most awesome thing about the adoption of Teriang is that RM0.10 from every new customer of Celcom First’s voice plans will be contributed to a fund for Teriang’s upkeep. How nice :)

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