Author: Kimberly Low

My tummy is hurting like a bitch since this morning. Having flatulance problem is not attractive at all.

I’m seriously broke. Seriously. I need to find a job soon.

But 1st I need to lose weight. There’s a blood donating campaign at college and I got weighted. Not good. NOT GOOD.

Dad’s friend’s daughter is getting married tomorrow. And I’m fat. %$#@*&

By the way, they didn’t want me because my iron level was too low. She gave me some folic acid and some magnesium (I think) tablets. I wonder whether this is a permanent condition or just because I did not take breakfast.

I feel so helpless without a car. So I’m just staying in. Damn mechanic is slow. Hopefully getting the car tomorrow.

I had a weird dream during a cat’s nap. I dreamt that the damn mechanic installed some wings like thingy onto both sides of my cars. And he painted like dozens of eagles on the wings. Very weird. And very fugly.

I overslept and missed class.

I sent my car to the bugger’s mechanic. Thank you for Jayna and her chum for giving me a ride back home.

I had bak kut teh for dinner. And last night’s dinner. And the night before that.

I found that gold jewelleries are good for me from a fengshui website. Splendid.

I met my brother’s girlfriend while paying tuition fees. Sweet, unnassuming girl. I like her. My brother is smitten.

My hormones are raging. I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long. I will continue my celibacy. Props to Kim for not succumbing to the Ex or him.

My room is a mess, again.

I am contemplating solitary college life.

It was a mighty fine day until this stupid bugger banged my car. Amongst the first words he blurted out was “I own a karaoke joint in Pandan Indah”. What the fuck? My baby, kemek on the left passenger’s door.

It’s fated. I was deliberating between going to meet my ex in my awful college garb or head home to doll up. This vainpot of course chose the latter. I mean, c’mon, you definitely can’t be seen wearing discoloured shirt, capris and selipar by your ex, can you? Now who could have imagined that opportunity cost of being a duller is an untouched car? The irony :(

So yeah, I met the Ex. I’m officially out of love. But I do genuinely care for him and I believe he does too. The funny thing was he had never been as nice as he was today during our 2 year relationship. He talked a lot about the what-ifs and I’d be lying to say I wasn’t feeling a little sorry, for myself and him. All in all, I’m glad we finally found the courage to meet up, after 1.5 years. Kim, welcome to a new friendship.

I’m broke. Anyone feeling charitable or sorry for my barren account is welcomed to e-mail me at kimberlymapother@yahoo.com for my account numbers. I’m begging you. I’m really begging you.