no oven recipe Tag Archives - Narcissism is Necessary

Tag Archives | no oven recipe

Awesomesauce Golden Treasure Puff.

I’m sorry but I have an incurable habit of giving my recipes tacky names. It rained really heavily in the afternoon today so instead of going out for lunch I decided to cook.

As I don’t have many stuff in the pantry, I don’t even have eggs or onions for goodness’ sake, I decided to check those websites that supposedly give you recipes that match the combination of ingredients you have. As it turned out, those websites are pretty useless. Yes, they’ll give you recipes which incorporate the ingredients you have but they also include stuff that you don’t have. Pointless -_-

Anyway, I gave up searching for recipes online and decided to just make something deep-fried. I’ve read an article about a chef before who said that you can eat anything deep-fried, even socks. In all honesty, I’d rather bake than fry but since I don’t have an oven, I had to do what I had to do. I wonder if one can eat baked socks.

Here are the ingredients for making Awesomesauce Golden Treasure Puff:

# – Bread. I used 4 slices because my brains are always hungrier than my stomach.

# – Frankfurters. Half a frank to one slice of bread, so I used only 2.

# – Cheese. I love cheese slices cause they’re so cheap and taste great after being treated with some heat. Like the franks, half a slice to one piece of bread.

# – Butter. You can omit this really since it’s a deep-fried dish but my life wouldn’t be the same without butter.

# – Half a cup of mixed vegetables. Season with black pepper for more bite.

# – Mustard. I’d prefer English mustard for a stronger kick, but beggar can’t be chooser. This will do for now.

# – Cornflour. This is not that important, I’m just using it for the sealant mixture later. You can replace with flour or even egg white.

Now on how to cook this baby…

# – First of all, cut off all the bread crusts. This is important because it’s very hard to seal the puff with the crusts on.

# – Then, flatten the bread slices as much as possible with a rolling pin. As we don’t have a rolling pin in this god-forsaken kitchen, I used a metal ladle to press the bread down.

# – Now butter the flattened bread. Like I said, you can omit this step….but WHY????

# – Next, lay the cheeses on the buttered bread slices.

# – And now, the defining moment of the dish, the mustard. Squeeze a line a mustard on each of the cheese slices.

# – Time to slap some meat on. Place the franks on the cheese slices.

# – Throw in some mixed vegetables for fibre count ;) By the way, becareful not to overstuff, it won’t be a pretty sight when your puff decides to explode in a pot of boiling oil.

# – Right about now, you can make the cornflour sealant. Basically it’s a water and cornflour mixture, just get the consistency gooey enough and you’re good to go.

Ok, now lightly dab the sealant mixture on the edges of the bread and then fold the bread in half and press the edges together. You may use a fork to press down the edges for security but I just use what my Mom gave me.

Wish I had photos to illustrate this step but it’s impossible to seal puffs and maneuver the camera at the same time. Use your imagination and most importantly, common sense, ok?

# – Awesomesauce Treasure Puff. At this point they are not golden yet.

# – By now you should have heated oil in your pot, throw in the Awesomesauce Treasure Puffs and fry till golden brown.

# – Voila! Awesomesauce Golden Treasure Puffs. Those itsy-bitsy stuff clinging onto the puffs are leaked cheese, not very pretty but oh so delicious! You may notice from the uneven colours of the puffs that I have yet to master the deep-frying skills. I intend to improve for future assignments :P

# – It’s so delicious that if I had a male organ, I would be jizzing in my pants. Just imagine: deep fried bread enveloping beef frank and sweet mixed vegetables drowning in melted cheese laced with mustard. I feel like I deserve an award or something.

# – Now, that is a look of pure happiness.

Remember, don’t forget the mustard!

Posted in: Bread, Homemade Recipes, Snacks - Continue Reading