Category: Parenting

Flying with other judgemental parents

So I blogged about our first flight with Liam and in that post I mentioned that I would talk about our flight back to Malaysia.

It was a night flight. We sat next to a couple with dreadlocks and tie-dyed clothings who also happened to have a similarly aged daughter.

I shouldn’t be presumptuous but I remember thinking to myself, “Yay hippies! They must be be understanding, kind and cheerful”. Their baby was nursing on her mother and sleeping soundly.

The plane took off off with not much drama. But, I think Liam was a bit overstimulated from the London’s Bersih 4 which I attended with him earlier in the day.

#- Earlier in the day at London’s BERSIH 4 with my unimate SY and her bub.

He was having difficulty falling asleep. He was babbling non-stop and at one point he let out a scream and the hippie couple’s baby woke up.

I quickly wore him and took him to the back of the plane, swayed on my feet for about 45 minutes and he finally fell asleep.

Then I went back to my seat and also fell asleep. Think we both slept for about 3 or 4 hours?

Then Liam woke up. And he also cried loudly. This was when the couple’s baby woke up too and I was frantically trying to calm Liam and get out of my seat while belted down and waking G who was asleep who was blocking my way so I could get out.

# – Liam being beastly.

Then the woman next to us said, “Oh my god, I can’t believe they woke up our baby twice. Seriously!?“

I was so angry! So my son woke her kid up twice in a 13 hour flight…big effing deal?

What did she propose I do? Stand at the back of the plane for 13 hours? Her kid cried loudly many times too but my son didn’t wake up, so how come we’re the worse parents now?

Then, her husband who sat next to me, turned to me and politely told me that there’s a stairwell at the back I could calm Liam down.

In my head I was like,”Yeah I know, I was there swaying my kid to sleep for 45 minutes”.

Anyway, I told Gareth to just grab Liam and take him to the back. Then I joined him and ranted my heart out hahaha.

I told Gareth I was going to scream at the woman about being more understanding and that her vegetarian kid (well, I assume was a vegetarian lol) was crying too but didn’t woke Liam up. G told me to chill as we had 8 more hours to sit together. I finally calmed down and we returned to our seats.

And in the light I could see the mother’s unshaven pits. I nearly puked out my airplane food.

They also took their shoes and socks off and aired their barefeet on top of the bassinet. Half-eaten snacks and all kinds of rubbish were accumulated beneath their bassinet. What a gross bunch!

At one point, the wife and baby was sleeping on the floor space (WTF?) between seats and bulkhead and the devil in my head really wanted to “accidentally” step on her dreadlocks, man. But I didn’t.

And you know what, the daughter’s name was Gaia. Hahahahaha. How original!

I swear they came straight out of a caricature show about hippies, if there’s one.

Just too bad, they seem to be all hippie on the outside but on the inside they’re as uptight if not more uptight than us poor, trapped bourgeoisies.

Okay, enough of hating on them. I think hippies are great just not the fakes ones :P

Anyway, my real point is, why so judgemental?

We all have kids with different temperaments and behaviours. As parents we try our best using ways we think work with our kids. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t.

Liam is usually okay when I boob him but he was not having it. I was close to not caring about exposing my breasts as I kept shoving them into his face! I really wish I could predict his crying and get to the back of the plane ASAP but I couldn’t.

It’s understandable when you experience judgement from non-parents but it’s incredibly disappointing and upsetting to experience it from other parents.

It’s not like we were sitting down with earplugs on letting Liam cried it out. We were visibly flustered trying to control the situation!

Fortunately, Liam didn’t wake their kumbaya daughter up for the 3rd time, well done son!

Story of my amazing breasts.

My boobs, my fun pillows, my tatas. Rose by any other name smells as sweet.

My breasts by any other names are just “neyney” to Liam, my son.

To date, I have been exclusively breastfeeding Liam for 1 year and 3 months. I still don’t know when I will stop.

While still pregnant, I dreamt about having Liam put on my chest straight after birth so that he could slowly nudge his way towards my breasts. According to what I have read, babies are supposed to be able to do that; they can detect their mommies’ breasts and go for a drink right after birth. How amazing is nature?

But I knew one thing for sure, I was going to try but I wasn’t going to be adamant about it. If I have no milk, there will always be other alternatives, I told myself.

At 32 weeks 4 days pregnant, fate decided otherwise for me. There were no other choices. My breastfeeding journey started out as a necessity. Liam was born prematurely and his neo-natal paediatrician was insistent that breast milk would help him to recover faster and better.

Gareth, my husband who had also read up extensively about breastfeeding concurred with our doctor’s advice.

Did you know that breast milk automatically adjusts its nutrition and content accordingly to your baby? That is why it’s so important for me to feed Liam with my milk, because only my body could create the right nourishment to nurse him back to health and to a healthy weight.

We came home without my baby. While I lied in bed worrying about Liam who was in the hospital’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), my husband went out and bought one of the best double breast pumps in the market for me.

I remember both of us sitting on the sofa studying this new machine that would become my faithful companion for 5 months. I tried it on. It pumped and pumped and nothing came out. I left it switched on for almost 45 minutes and then….it happened!

My first pumping session.

Yellowish liquid squirted out of my nipple. Oh my god…MILK!

I stored whatever I could in the freezer and brought it to the hospital so that the nurse could feed Liam via the gavage tube. On the 3rd day, we received a call from the hospital saying Liam was strong enough to be nursed directly. I was elated.

I remember thinking to myself when I started – how was he going to drink from my nipple? It was bigger than his face!

The gavage line in his mouth was a hindrance at first, but Liam and I soon worked around it. Soon, he took to it like duck to water.

Liam was out of NICU in 12 days, and discharge out of the hospital 11 days later.

I credit most of it to my dear ol’ breasts. It’s not only the magic milk, but also the act of breastfeeding, the skin to skin contact it helped Liam to regulate his body temperature and also he could get my fauna to help him cope with his surrounding environment.

It seems counter intuitive to nurse your baby while you’re nursing a cold yourself, but it’s actually the best thing to do. Something to note is that Liam has never caught a cold from me or Gareth or anyone. This is because even when I have been exposed to a sickness, he receives my antibodies against it via my breast milk, making him stronger.

Nursing in public for the first time.

I saw before my eyes, how he grew bigger and bigger every month on just my milk alone. It was fascinating to observe. I am proud and thankful for my breasts for being able to transform my baby from a mere 1.7kg to now a healthy 9.5kg. And without spending any money too hehe.

I must not lie, there were plenty of difficulties with breastfeeding – low milk supply, plugged ducts, engorgement and cracked nipples, a slew of issues that warrant its own post.

But they are just my breasts adjusting to its new role. Seeing my son grow up so healthily makes it all worthwhile.

Liam Got Stuck: The first series

If there’s one talent that I am sure my son has, it is getting stuck.

He has a tendency of getting himself lodged at the unlikeliest places, sometimes even more than once.

I hope it’s indicative of an adventurous nature and not just being a complete noob lol

A mother can hope.

22 June 2015. So he was almost 11 months old. We were leisurely watching tv while bub was playing on the floor.

Next thing we heard was a panicked cry.

We looked down and he had managed to get his head stuck between the sofa and footstool. Of course we took a picture before releasing him, that’s the least we could do. To immortalise one of his first embarrassing episodes in life.

13 August 2015. We were in Buxton, England. His daddy was away on a brewery tour while my mom-in-law and I decided to stay in the hotel room to relax, also to escape from the rain. Ah, English summer.

Bub was allowed to roam around in the hotel room. Who could have foretold that Liam could get stuck on top of a luggage? It probably felt like getting stuck on the roof of KLCC to him then.

6 September 2015. Dinner at a local restaurant. Instead of the Ikea highchairs that are commonly found in restaurants these days, we got an old-school baby chair instead.

We were busy eating our dinner when Liam cried.

Poor bub got one of his legs through the plastic weavings that made the seat of the chair. So, now we know why more and more restaurants are using the Ikea ones.

9 October 2015. We were at home. He was playing in his pen as usual. I was watching TV as usual. And then, the most horrible cry!

I thought he stabbed himself in the eye with a toy. But no, he just got his arm stuck in the gap between two pen walls. He was trying to pull his arm out to no avail.

I helped him but I took a video first. #assholeparent

Here’s the video if you would like to watch it. Please turn down the volume of your speakers.

I think these are all going into his wedding slides. Hahaha.