April 2013 - Narcissism is Necessary

Archive | April, 2013

Musings of a first time voter.

I will be voting for the very first time. I stupidly missed out the last opportunity due to personal reasons. Okay, truth was I was afraid that G might get deported hahaha. Laugh now..it wasn’t funny then.

Anyway, this year I have decided to cast my vote because well, a pair of sandals at Charles & Keith was going for RM134. I blame the government for that.

Jokes aside.

The things that truly changed my perceptions aren’t the sandals…but the below:

1. Both my younger brothers are in danger of never affording their own homes, and that pains me.

2. Traffic jams, which I genuinely believe stems from corrupted driving schools=bad drivers, terrible road conditions and severe lack of reliable public transportation.

3. Rampant animal abuse and mistreatment of animals by local councils.

4. I don’t feel safe walking down a well-lit street alone.

5. The horrendously tacky & narcissistic home-made music videos which led me to think, “Seriously, these are the clowns that are supposed to govern our country!?”

6. MRR2. It’s feels like am playing Russian Roulette every time I’m forced to drive on that road.

7. The education system.

So yeah, that’s why I’m going to vote…despite still having a nagging feeling that G might be deported, hehehe.

It’s been several months of intense discussions, talks and speculations about our Election Commision. How much of those said are true and how much are made up? Nobody knows. Actually I don’t care lah.

Not like I can do anything!

I did print out my details on SPR website just in case those rumours of people’s names being struck off were true.

Honestly, I think it’s just technical glitch but just in case lah…you’re only wasting some ink and a piece of paper.

I’ve also heard that people wearing nail polish might be stopped from casting their votes because EC might claim that they “can’t tell the difference” of a finger with indelible ink from a finger with nail polish.

I haven’t been able to find anything official about it; the only information is that they say don’t get a manicure because the indelible ink will ruin your nail colours.

Anyway, I removed my gel manicures because just in case lah….what if they really can’t tell the difference between nail polish and indelible ink. I’m bored with my nail colours already anyway and them nails need to breathe from 3 consecutive gel manicure treatments.

Since we’re on the topic of indelible ink, I also don’t understand why they decided to mark people’s fingers before voting. Mark it after voting makes more sense right?

Apparently, it’s some kind of trickery to encourage spoiling of ballot papers. I don’t think there’s anything dodgy about it, maybe they are just scared that people might wipe it off within 30 seconds.

But just in case you’re worried about spoiling your ballot papers with the indelible ink, they say you can ask for a new ballot paper. In case they won’t give you a new ballot paper, show them a printed version of this news article. From NST one okay, must believe.

But just in case they still refuse to give you a new ballot paper anyhow, haiyaaaa vote only, lodge a complaint and cross your fingers. Most importantly, don’t be a clumsyass with your fingers.

Then, there’s a rumour that despite the increase of 3 million new voters in the electoral roll, the number of polling stations will be reduced compared to year 2008.

Apparently, this is a tactic to get voters to give-up midway queuing.

Also, there are words that polling centres would close at 5pm sharp regardless of people still queuing. I don’t think so, but just in case lah….bring a book, some snacks, umbrella, your printed details from the SPR website and lots and lots of patience ya.

I am really quite excited about voting for the first time. I’ve never felt so much ownership towards Malaysia. Whatever the outcome is, just in case lah….remember to stay home to celebrate/mourn privately ;)

Posted in: Social/Political - Continue Reading

Happy Star Wars Birthday to Michael aka Eyeris

A few weeks ago, LL messaged all of us about throwing her husband, Mike aka Eyeris a surprise Star Wars/Pixar themed birthday party. Mike is like the biggest Star Wars/Pixar buff.

Eh, the last birthday party was 3 years ago leh so I was understandably excited!

Finally the day arrived!

# – Luke, I am your father.

We managed to pull off the surprise. Mike came home dripping in sweat from his badminton session while carrying his fresh laundry to a bunch of howling friends, hehe.

# – SURPRISEEEE!

# – Mike with LL, Grill Sargeant Lance and Mel (who are getting married soon wheeee!)

# – All that’s missing is a bonfire.

# – Kerol and Yuks.

# – LY and KK.

# – The only person who bothered to dress up, Fireangel – resident bar wench. She makes amazing cocktails and other alcoholic related goodies. She offers her service to private parties too, just hit her up at her Facebook page.

# – Of course, must haz booze.

# – KY, Fireangel, Sashi & Horng….drinking bitch piss with gold flakes.

# – Ken, LL’s brother passing out.

# – Kaitlyn also passed out…but not cause of booze. Kendrick engrossed in watching Cars 2.

# – Cake out!

# – Birthday man and a cleaver. Don’t think there’s any reference to Pixar or Star Wars…he’s just being a cina laopek.

Now to the food. I offered to cook, praying and hoping LL would let me. And she did! Yay, thanks LL! :D

I googled for Star Wars food puns. Found quite a few and narrowed the list down to match what I was planning to cook. Hubs and I also came up with 2 original Star Wars food puns (at least we think we did!).

I haven’t been cooking properly for a while now so I really relished the opportunity!

# – Ham Solo Sandwich.

Basically using potato buns I got from a bakery, which I halved and then stuffed with loads of ham, mature cheddar & spices, then baked with a home-made mustard glaze.

# – Lardsabers….I thought of this name one, hehe.

Skewered pork sausages wrapped in bacon with canned cubed pineapples. Didn’t even need seasoning.

# – Bobba Fettucini.

Lemon and parsley fettuccine with loads of bacon.

# – R2Pea2…Gareth the hubs came up with this name.

Initially, the plan was to make mushy peas but it became buttered peas with lettuce.

# – Vaders Potaters.

From chips to roast potatoes to the final outcome – chilled potato, gherkin and egg salad.

# – All the dishes. Mike’s brother, the Grill Sargeant Lance also whipped up two other dishes…awesome sticky sausages and a OMFG cheese casserole despite being an Orang Kurang Upaya (busted his Achilles tendon). Respect!

As expected, I made too much food. But it’s okay coz Mike and LL didn’t have to worry about meals for the next few days.

Aged to Perfection…hells yeah!

Happy birthday in advance, Mike!

Posted in: Parties & Outings - Continue Reading

My Mom and her story of chives.

Had steamboat dinner with my Mom today. We ate chive dumplings, which reminded mom of something from her childhood.

According to Mom, when she was a small girl, she used to keep a coin in her mouth. It drove my granny crazy!

I asked Mom why she did such a gross thing and she said back in those days she didn’t have a purse cause she was too little so she used to put whatever coin she got from my grandparents behind her ear.

However, the coin kept falling off the back of her ear, so she came up with the brilliant idea of keeping it in her mouth instead.

One day, while she was playing with a neighbour, she accidentally swallowed the coin. She started panicking and cried hysterically.

My late grandfather told my Mom that there were only two ways to get the coin out; she had to go to a doctor who would cut her belly open and pluck it out…or she would have to eat chicken poop which would induce vomitting.

“Which method do you want?”, asked my grandfather.

She thought for a while, and with tears in her eyes, “I’d eat chicken poop”.

My uncle (mom’s elder brother) who was observing the entire episode, helpfully suggested to Mom that they hunt for the perfect chicken poop together. Back in those days, my granny reared a few chickens so there were plenty of avian poop to choose from.

There were watery ones, and there were solid ones. After studying every single chicken poop they came across in my grandparents’ backyard, my uncle asked mom whether she had decided on which one to ingest.

“I want the watery one”, she said.

“Why?”, asked my uncle.

“Cause it will dissolve in water better”, Mom replied.

At this point, my grandmother told my uncle to cut it out and stop bullying my Mom.

Only then Mom realised that she had been taken for a ride.

She stopped speaking to my uncle for 2 weeks and proceeded to stuff his precious encyclopaedias in several Milo tins and buried them under the chicken pen, while he was at school.

As for the coin in Mom’s belly, apparently my granny soaked a stalk of chive in water till it’s soft and made my mom swallow it whole. The belief was that the chive would wrap itself around the coin, of which my Mom would then safely pass it out.

True enough, she safely pooped out a chive wrapped coin a day later.

Posted in: Emo & Personal - Continue Reading