4 Years.

Dear Levi and Lola,

You would have been 4 this year. How time flies. The nightmare of losing you both is now a distant memory. I don’t get much affected anymore, in fact when people tell me they have or are having twins (which seems quite the norm these days) I can even keep a straight face and wish them sincere congratulations.

Now and then, mummy still receive requests from parenting medias to share my story of loss and grieve but I always say no. It’s not because I don’t want to keep your memories alive. Afterall, you two took a bit of my heart away when you left, and that will always, always hurt. I guess I just don’t really want to be defined by this loss anymore. Girl gotta move on, you know.

Your brother has just entered Year 1 and thriving, while your little sister has become the most articulate 2.5 year old in the world. Yes, thank you kids, for her.

Just yesterday I asked her what happened to her pee (we are in the midst of potty training), she exasperatedly exclaimed, “In my diaper lah!”. She’s a total riot.

Daddy is doing well. Working from home a lot due to the pandemic, which is great for us as we can see him often. Oh yes, there is a pandemic going on now and most international borders are closed. You have to wear a surgical face mask everywhere. And you have to sanitise your hands all the time.

You know what, the other day, I realised that if it weren’t for your departure, daddy would still be working at his previous job which I’m certain would have been affected in the current climate. Imagine, furloughed with 3 kids and a sloth for a wife? It’d be bad. But thanks to you, he decided a change of scene was required and found a stable, rewarding job that is recession-proof not long after what happened. Is this a hard reach? Perhaps. Well, mummy is always looking for silver linings!

Also thanks to you, I am the owner of a small crystal business that I absolutely love. I named it after you two. Weird? Absolutely. I don’t care, I love it, I love you.

Thank you for being in our lives, even for such a brief moment. Your positive impact more than made up for the broken hearts you gave us. We love you darlings, always and forever.