Suspended

I’m in pain. It feels like everything is on hold while the suffering creates itself to remind me that I can’t fool myself; there is a price to pay to get what I deserve. Everything is currently suspended except this paralysing agony that is from me but not controlled by me.

This is not my life. Am sleeping it off till my real life begins. Even then the pain keeps me half awake because being fully asleep would be half-cheating. Nobody can trick it, not even themselves. I’d have to do something more drastic to dull this, numb this.

I just want to not feel anything.

Posted from my Crackberry.