Jizzgasmic Pork Meatballs Pasta - Narcissism is Necessary

Jizzgasmic Pork Meatballs Pasta

Honestly, I’m not a big fan of meatballs. The ones sold outside tend to be too dense or too dry or too bland. My other half, on the other hand, is a meatball connoisseur. He likes ’em small, big, juicy, cheesy, loosely stuffed or even dense. Yeah, he loves his meatballs.

And because he loves meatballs, and I love him, so I decided to make him his beloved meatballs for dinner….with a tiny wee bit of Asian twist. I decided to make ones that I think I might like – not too dense and very crunchy on the inside.

The ingredients that you need are:

  • 300+ grams of minced pork
  • 200ml of bread crumbs (you can use store bought ones, but mine are homemade by the bf’s mom. If you’re feeling adventurous, check out how to make breadcrumbs here)
  • 3-4 strands of long beans (kacang panjang)
  • 1 chilli
  • 1.5 tablespoon of dried basil (or fresh ones, you lucky bastard)
  • 1 can of plum tomatoes
  • 1 tablespoon of brown sugar (or ordinary sugar)
  • some vodka (or white wine or even water if you’ve got no choice -_-)
  • celery salt/ordinary salt + pepper
  • 3 tablespoon of minced garlic
  • pasta of your choice

Oh and having a mixing bowl is very useful for this recipe!

Lets start!

# – Dice one onion, throw into mixing bowl.

# – Dice long beans and throw onto diced onions.

# – Dice chilli and throw onto diced onions on top of diced onions.

# – Pour bread crumbs into your bowl of onions, long beans and chilli mix.

# – Now chuck minced pork into the mix.

# – Add 1.5 tablespoon of dried basil. Of course, you can use fresh ones!

# – And next, about one tablespoon of celery salt, of which you can replace with 1/2 a tablespoon of ordinary salt. But seriously, I don’t think I can live without celery salt ever again!

# – Lastly, a generous sprinkling of coarse black pepper.

Now here comes the FUN part!

# – With your naked fingers, squeeze and mix everything till combined :)

And because it’s impossible to take pictures while shaping meatballs, I’ll skip the process :P

# – With slightly moist hands, just roll about a tablespoon and a half of mixture and form a ball. They should look like this :D

# – Now heat up oil in a saucepan and pan fry the balls!

# – After about a minute, turn them around so they’re evenly cooked.

# – Remove from saucepan when the meat has turned white.

# – Be gentle while handling your balls, or they will disintegrate like this :(

# – But do not worry, just squash the damaged ball into smithereens and incorporate it into the sauce ;)

# – Now there will be a lot of onions, bits and bobs left in the pan after the frying. DO NOT DISCARD them. Instead, pour some vodka in. (BTW, right after this picture was taken, I flambe-d my own hand…do not handle the camera while pouring alcohol into your cooking at the same time…it is stupid. Very stupid)

# – Scrap all burnt goodies from the pan and add some minced garlic into the mix.

# – In the meantime, open a can of plum tomatoes and cut them into smaller pieces if they’re not already cut.

# – Pour the tomatoes into your garlicky awesomesauce. Mix well.

# – Add one tablespoon of brown sugar or ordinary sugar. Stir well.

# – And now….add the balls back into the sauce, baybeh!

# – Gently stir them around a bit so they’re well coated by the tomato sauce.

# – Now this recipe is enough for 3 people although 2 of us managed to clear it…so cook pasta for 3. Any pasta, I used a combo of angelhair and spaghetti, just because.

# – Drain pasta, spoon sauce and balls over pasta and slice cheddar over it. Yes, I’m using a potato peeler, don’t judge!

# – Behold, the Jizzgasmic Pork Meatballs Pasta.

# – A look into the ball.

# – Trust me, this is the way to a man’s heart, the Jizzgasmic Pork Meatballs Pasta.

This is also by far the best dish I’ve ever whipped up on my own. I shouldn’t use expletives in a supposedly family friendly post but yeah, this shit is fucking A.

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21 Responses to Jizzgasmic Pork Meatballs Pasta

  1. KY March 7, 2011 at 10:01 pm #

    next time don’t make for 3 ppl, make for 13! :P

  2. ShaolinTiger March 7, 2011 at 11:24 pm #

    Best Meatballs In The World – EVAR!111!!111!onetyone1

  3. sotong March 8, 2011 at 12:22 am #

    eh.. didn’t add some chu yau char? :P

  4. Lisa Cheah March 8, 2011 at 5:01 am #

    Looks super yummy! MMM!
    I am not the one to give advices but try adding egg/flour next time so the balls might hold together a bit better?

    In any case, if ever you want to try another meatball recipe, I highly recommend this Jamie Oliver ones! https://www.foodtale.com/2010/01/31/meatballs-in-tomato-sauce/

    Insane! :D

    • Kimberlycun March 8, 2011 at 11:05 am #

      thanks for the tip and the link! what a beautiful food blog!

  5. Tien March 8, 2011 at 6:25 am #

    Looks yummy! Try cracking an egg and mix it into the raw mince mixture then it will keep the balls together while frying. Will definitely try this, never thought of adding fresh chillies into meatballs. :)

    • Kimberlycun March 8, 2011 at 11:06 am #

      ok! going to use an egg the next time i make it, thanks for the tip :D

  6. Bangsar-bAbE March 8, 2011 at 1:57 pm #

    I should get rif to read this…so he can make meatballs for me this weekend! :P

    • Kimberlycun March 8, 2011 at 4:08 pm #

      hehehe y u dont make for rif instead wor…

  7. nocturnale March 8, 2011 at 3:34 pm #

    Every man needs a woman who cooks like that. Nice!

  8. kampungboycitygal March 8, 2011 at 5:26 pm #

    omg i love your recipe/cooking adventure posts! look simple and easy enough for a noob like me to try out! n they are all so fattening and comforting, me like!

    • Kimberlycun March 8, 2011 at 7:23 pm #

      thank you! what an honour to be visited by you! :D

  9. ahsiang March 9, 2011 at 12:56 pm #

    I am saving this page down so that can try it out when I/my wife is free :D

  10. JC April 19, 2011 at 11:07 pm #

    Such a simple recipe! I’m gonna try it out this weekend..

    One question though.. i’m trying to make a halal version, no pork and vodka.. do i need to substitute vodka with anything? :)


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