January 7, 2011 - Narcissism is Necessary

Archive | January 7, 2011

I’m a porcelain princess.

Okay, I haven’t managed to get to download pictures from my camera yet so you’ll have to contend with yet another half arsed blog post from me. At least I won’t be posting up terrible pictures from my phone in this one.

Sometimes, the planets align in a magnificent way. Relaxing at home, perfect humidity levels, moderate temperature, fresh toilet rolls and clear, ferocious tap water – all the makings of an almost perfect setting for a major poopage session. To some people, perfection entails perhaps a smoke. Some, a newspaper or cheesy paperback. For myself, it’s cool porcelain against my skin.

I do love my books while I’m at it but I could never, ever poop with the toilet seat down. It’s either nothing (work those glutes!) or cool, clean porcelain please.

When I was younger, I used to read magazines and there’s this one matter that regularly cropped up whenever the topic of what women can’t stand about men was discussed – men not putting the toilet seats down after peeing (or in other variation – not putting the toilet seat up when peeing). For years, I was bewildered by that particular peeve because I simply could not comprehend why it was such a bad thing.

Sad to say, it just never occurred to me that people actually use the toilet seat, which I had vehemently believed existed for the sole purpose of preventing little children from falling into the toilet bowl. While I’ve accepted that some people like to sit over a toilet seat to conduct their businesses, I on the other hand still have not acquired the pleasure of having warm plastic pressed against my buttocks.

Any toilet habit quirk out there to share?

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