November 24, 2010 - Narcissism is Necessary

Archive | November 24, 2010

This sucks!

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate using the vacuum cleaner? It is clunky and heavy. It always get stuck behind a furniture or worse, turn turtle when you yank it a little too hard. The cable always get twisted into dozens of crazy knots. I fucking hate it.

But yet, having a head full off disloyal hair and a dog that sheds as much, the hoover is pertinent in keeping the damn house clean. So I use it albeit unwillingly.

Yesterday, for instance, I decided to whip out the hoover to clean the house. In the middle of cleaning, I was possessed by the Vacuum Cleaning Ghost (also known as Good Mood). So I started hoovering up chairs, tables, cabinets, aircon vents, anything and everything I came across.

Then I spotted my dusty keyboard, which by the way was disgustingly covered in food crumbs and whatnot. Naturally, I placed the mouth of the hammerhead shark looking thing onto my laptop keyboard. Man…the satisfaction of seeing all those filth being sucked up voraciously by the hoover.

I began to like my clunky, heavy vacuum cleaner. I even imagined the possibility of using it everyday! And then I heard a light pop. And then I looked down.

# – And then I saw this.

I freaked out. But of course, I had to tweet about it 1st then only deal with the situation. It was extremely important that everybody was informed that that I had sucked a key out of my filthy keyboard. In panic, I had thought I’d lost my CTRL key.

# – I intelligently laid 300watt of suction power over my keyboard.

What followed next was an experience I would really like to erase from my memory, forever.

Which is worse? Sticking your hand into a soiled toilet bowl to pick out something that wasn’t meant to be there or sticking your hand into a dirtbag that had been collecting dirt for the past 6 years to pick out something that wasn’t meant to be there?

Thankfully, I had just emptied the dirtbag minutes before the incident took place so it was fairly easy to maneuver my fingers in and around.

# – Yummy.

Atfer what seemed like an eternity, I managed to fish the damn key out. Turned out it’s an UP key that got sucked in.

# – I found UP.

Unfortunately I couldn’t stick it back into my keyboard :(

Vacuum cleaner sucks!

Posted in: General Faux Pas - Continue Reading