Artsy fartsies.

I laughed out loud reading aeroplane1234‘s post about ‘art’. I totally agree with him, I don’t get it sometimes. Sometimes all these so-called art pieces are downright ludicrous. And people who appreciate these ‘art’ are lets face it, pretentious. They need to look at my 5-year-old doodles because they are 500 times better than your deep, thoughtful art. Art my fart!

I had the fortune of visiting Tate in Liverpool during my trip to UK. The visit was mostly amazing with some shiznits (like sticking thousands of dead butterfly wings to make a collage, hello?), but some of the stuff on display did incite a couple of “HUH?”.

Like that huge canvas of just the colour blue.

IKB by Yves Klein. I like to call it The Horrendously Overrated Blue.

Okay, so the artist INVENTED that strain of blue colour, but it’s still, blue. Navy. Whatever. I mean, I could buy a bucket of nippon paint in blue, splash it across a white canvas, hang it in my living room and call it art, right? Yeah but dude‘s got his blue painting in of all places, f-king Tate!?

Then there’s this painting that’s basically a zoomed up notepad. It looked something like this:

graph paper
Doesn’t it evoke nightmares of factorisation and endless algebra?

I wish I remembered the artist’s name. Why didn’t we think of doing this? We could have enlarged our buku 555 and made some big bucks. In fact, I’d draw some invisible flowers and trees on it with my pit sweat, that would definitely make the art more valuable.

What about the chick that pulled a longass scroll out of vagina as part of a feminist movement? Ooookay.

Said the chick who pulled out a longass scroll out of her poonani…

Interior Scroll
Interior Scroll.

I saw the vagina as a translucent chamber of which the serpent was an outward model: enlivened by it’s passage from the visible to the invisible, a spiraled coil ringed with the shape of desire and generative mysteries, attributes of both female and male sexual power. This source of interior knowledge would be symbolized as the primary index unifying spirit and flesh in Goddess worship.

– the chick who pulled out a longass scroll out of her poonani.



By now, you’re probably dying to google the chick up. Her name is Carolee Schneemann, pervs.

15 thoughts on “Artsy fartsies.”

  1. yes, if blue sheet and buku latihan metamatik is an art, i should consider hang a used tampon on my rear mirror.辟邪!!

    speaking of poonani pad, those old days thicker types (with hoop) does look like CHAR SIEW 叉烧 after used, especially when my sister wrap em in newspaper.

    damn…. im sick evil fuck….

  2. thank you.

    was always waiting for someone to post about “art”. thought i was the only one who couldn’t stand this artsy-fartsy tripe.

  3. aeroplane1234: eww you are sick man! but u’d prolly make more money than the rest of us wth your art!!!

    krawx: do it man..send me first!

    ky: that’s why you’re a pervert, cause pervs don’t don’t just get stimulated by erotic shit, only sick shit. PERVERT!

    justine: haha you’re not alone woman!

    tristan: no wor. supposed they rotate the pieces around different locations.

  4. Well, I guess it’s like Andy Warhol and his can of Campbell soup. These abstract pieces are much more…er, abstract though.

    admin: yeah….definitely too abstract for me lol. speaking of andy warhol, there’s a room in tate just filled with his’s awesome and eye straining hehe.

  5. Hahaha I know what you mean! All this “artsy” posingness smells of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” to me, you know, “He’s not wearing any clothes!!!” aka “It’s just the colour blue!”.

    Someone in Malaysian SHOULD really try setting up an art exhibition made up of truly Malaysian icons and see if the Tate gallery will pick them up…what do you think?

    Would a display of cheap Japanese slippers, a can of Milkmaid condensed milk, roti kaya, a Ramli burger be worth $$$? Gosh, I’d love to own a DSLR to capture images like this!

  6. Sorry to spoil the clean environment.

    Refering to things being pulled out from any poonanis, in Phuket, the Agogo shows aka Ping-pong show, has got women pulling strings of needles, shooting darts via straw for balloon poppoing, ping-pong ball dropping into a glass etc.

    It’s not a nice act to know of or even to watch. But people pay to watch such shows! Pity those girls…they do this for a living….

  7. kittycat: haha great ideo on the msian icons! :D

    lynn: while in thailand it’s an exploitation of women but in a developed country, the same act is supposed to be empowering. the world is a cruel place :(

    whimsicaljottings: hehe

  8. What the hay? I don’t show up for a while, and now you’re posting up porno? I googled her up, and still can’t make sense of her. Just like vagina monologues. I prefer real char siew in my bun.

  9. I made three blue canvases when I was younger (pre-1990). I called them Blue 1, BLue 2, Blue 3. I did it because I wanted to look at something blue. :-) My flatmate Paul at the time thought it was really good.

    ‘so the artist INVENTED that strain of blue colour, but it’s still, blue. Navy.’

    Not navy. Navy is very dark blue. It is closer to Royal or Cobalt blue.

    Big colourful squares are usually Rothko works. (He is American and also killed himself long ago). He started the ‘lets make a big square of colour and sell it for thousands’ style of art work.

    ‘I could buy a bucket of nippon paint in blue, splash it across a white canvas, hang it in my living room and call it art, right?’

    Nope. In Modernism, Post-modernism and re-modernism the CONCEPT is king. So, you must have a CONCEPT in order to call it art. It has to have some meaning, else, it’s just a blue canvas.

    The Grid might be a Mondrian, but he used to usually do grids in black and colour in some squares. Probably someone more recent than Mondrian who has mathematical nightmares.

    I don’t have to google Poonam Woman. I have her in half a dozen art books. :-)

    Anyway, as I have written about modern / post modern / remodern art before on my blog, I’ll just re-iterate a point I keep making. Art has NEVER been made with the masses in mind. It has always been the pursuit of the Rich (and sometimes wacky). Not understanding art doesn’t make it or the buyers pretentious. It is only when they look down at you for not understanding it that they become pretentious (but the same can be said for motor mechanics who treat you like an idiot for not knowing why your car broke down or the PC support guy who claims ‘Everyone know the XXX12435t5235243 register does that’).

    As the art isn’t aimed at you, doesn’t mean the art is in the wrong. (Lets face it, are you going to pay $1 Million pounds for one of Damien Hirst’s screwed up little pieces of paper??? No, because we can’t afford it, but I bet Damien Hirst can find someone who will. Do you think he made that art work for us?) :-)

    Also, as I love to quote contemporary artist Matthew Collings, ‘Just because I understand Modern art, doesn’t mean I like it.’
    Even those who are experts in it and can see its value often wouldn’t buy it if they had the money.

    You can always search my blog for some of my writings on art, or just ask Lainie to explain why an artist is so good. :-)

    ALSO, they recently proved that artists don’t think like Non-Artists, so if you can’t understand Lainie’s explanations, it’s not you, it’s her, but it’s not her fault. :-)

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