Types of annoying people

I am incredibly peeved with annoying people. Sometimes I wonder whether they’re even aware of how fucking annoying they are. If I were to get a 10 cent for every smart aleck I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting, I’d be able to pay for the down payment of a small apartment.

THE KNOW-IT-ALLS

Fucking hate this kind. The know-it-alls are truly the pest of planet Earth. The know-it-alls always well, (think they) know it all. But in reality, they are dumb as fucks. They have no idea what they’re talking about and they have a deeply ingrained distorted sense of superiority that is detrimental to their personality and other people. They are really quite easy to spot, unless you’re also a dumbfuck in which case, you’d be absolutely impressed with whatever that came out of their mouths.

For example, I’ve had the opportunity of encountering this person who was quite the biggest know-it-all I’ve ever known. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind know-it-alls, if they actually know what they’re talking about. In fact, I cherish these people for I could learn about a lot of things that I otherwise won’t know about. What I really can’t stand are those that are actually, clearly stupid but want to put up a smart front. So anyway, back to the story, we saw a goose. Yes, a fucking, live, goose. This person proceeded to exclaimed like a damn hyena in heat.

OH!!!!!!!!!!!! FOIE GRAS. FOIE GRAS. FOIE GRAS. FOIE GRAS. I WANT TO EAT FOIE GRASS!!!!

Then proceeded to chase the poor goose around, while prancing. P.R.A.N.C.I.N.G. In which case was fine, I can still tahan the act cute shit and all but this person was saying foi gras. Say “ploy bra” and you’ll know what I mean. I just brushed it off lah. But later on when the topic of liver came up again, this person continued to say foi gras. Well, by then I decided to take the initiative to correct her pronunciation. It’s actually fwah gra and not foi gras, in a non-hostile manner.

To my surprise, instead of thanking me, this stupid know-it-all responded in the most stoic manner that her pronunciation is the CORRECT ONE because WHEN SHE WAS IN FRANCE, HER FRENCH FRIEND SAID IT WAS FOI GRAS.

Well, yours truly have never been to France and obviously have never encountered any French friend who have taught me to pronounce foie gras as foi gras so I didn’t argue with her. For one, it’s never a good thing to argue with stupid people because they will pull you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Lets not even touch on this person’s inability to differentiate mutilated from mutated.

Then it’s the “when-i-was-in” sort of annoying people. Woweee these kind of people are the ones that are quite sickening too. You know the kinds that always start their conversation with, “When I was in so and so place” and then proceeded to feed you with rehashed information they begot from Wikipedia. Oh my fucking gawd, give me a break. Sure, these people have the immigration stamps on their passports but what do they do when they’re in a foreign country? They go to Starbucks and surf the Internet. With that much so-called travelling you’d think they could have absorbed a little culture and some semblance of social etiquette. Please, you want real travelling, you read Miss Popagandhi ok, kthxbai.

Pwoah then come along the name droppers. Macibai I behtahan this type. The moment they meet you, even for the first time they’re already dropping so and so names. Talk like they know these important people so well when they have no fucking idea that I know these people much better than them. And that the people they’re so proudly associating with are actually secretly laughing at them, with me. I beg these dumbasses to retain some self-respect lah pls.

Oh yes, and the “I’VE DONE WHAT YOU’VE DONE TOO AND I THINK IT SUCKS”. Geddit? I read this book, so did he/she and it sucks. I ate this food, so did he/she and it’s not her/his taste. I worked for this company, so did he/she and the company sucks. I’m friend with this person, so is she/he and he/she thinks my friend sucks. You catch my drift? I think some people should keep their opinions to themselves because they were uncalled for. Most importantly, I really don’t give a fuck what you think, darling.

And that’s a fraction of annoying people I could list out. Maybe more later, cheers.

Truth is.

Truth is I got a little caught up with all the traffic chasing. I’d blog and I’d get angry when I see that my traffic doesn’t match up with the effort I put in. Truth is when I put in that much effort, I wasn’t blogging for myself anymore.

This used to be fun and leisurely. It had turned into a chore.

So, I’m slowly weaning myself off this race. Been blogging with no expectations and restraints for the past 3 weeks and loving it. I’m a much calmer person.

Am also working on other aspects of my life. Trying to move away from from this plateau, do a little bit of growing up. Am glad the boo is willingly walking down this path with me (no, we’re not getting married…stop asking!).

Also, trying my hand in real writing. Finally, after getting put off for so long by half-bucket magazines who didn’t even have the decency to credit one properly (I’ve been credited as Kimberly Choong. Who the fuck is Kimberly Choong? Not to mention discrepancy of names throughout KimberLEY KimberLY WTF?), I’m finally truly, unequivocally published.

As some of you may have known, I now have a permanent column in FHM Malaysia called “Booby Trap”. Feel free to speculate why the name is so, but it’s really not as dirty as you think it is. Hehe. FHM is my favourite men’s magazine and I’m not just saying this because I write for them. I used to buy it every month without fail for a couple of years (even have the collection to prove it), which is why I’m immensely proud to be writing for them now.

FHM

So, what’s contained in Booby Trap? Well, just general, mostly funny observations by yours truly – online and offline. Do get yourself a copy of FHM Malaysia, especially next month’s as I was really, really, really stoked writing October’s column. It’ll be something that happened to me, way before I started blogging and I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone about it :)

Clever ad by local company

This is an animated banner ad by a local company, Think Property. I think the idea is really clever.

First you see this…
dubya vs Einstein

Then it changes into this…
dubya vs Einstein

The thing is, since it’s a local company, wouldn’t it be more apt if dubya were changed to these respected local personalities instead?

Likes this…

Or this?

Anyway, credit is where credit due. This ad is brilliant!