It has happened again, I left for work earlier today. 15 minutes earlier than usual and what did I get in return? Exactly 20 minutes late to work. This is really frustrating man -_-
Major Causes of Traffic Jam
1. QUEUE JUMPERS
This is perhaps the most irritating thing ever. Imagine getting stuck in the jam for the past 1/2 hour and upon reaching a toll, you find yourself at the back of a a long queue. Then these buggers start to park at the side of your car, inching nearer and nearer, waiting for you to stop your car and let them take the space in front of you.
HELLO!? Other people have been stuck in the jam like them too. Why cut queue? It really won’t allow them reach to reach their destination sooner, it’s only going to make other users really angry and frustrated and therefore refuse to budge their cars and hence causing more jam. Besides, it’s just gawd damn rude. Go join the queue like everyone else, cause the queue does move but assholes like them are restricting the flow!
2. CORNER BRAKER
Okay, following closely to irritating and inconsiderate queue jumpers would be Corner Brakers. First of all, why do some people brake at corners? Tight corners, brake. Big corners also brake. Some more braking in the jam. They think their car would spin out at 20kmh is that it? The best way to take a corner is to brake at the end of the straight road and then accelerate at the start of the corner, that’s it. Brake so much for what, fuel price too low and brake pads to cheap?
Corner Brakers usually cause that kind of mysterious jam that you have no idea how it came about. Picture this scenario, very heavy traffic along a certain stretch with corners and the likes. As you reach the end of the stretch, the jam mysteriously disperse. Wonder no more, it’s the bloody Corner Brakers.
3. ASS LICKER
And then there are drivers that like to literally tail your ass. What the hell for I ask? It’s the next stop to a RM300 summon and probably a week to three sans vehicle (depending on how chummy you are with your mechanic). These bunch of Ass Lickers also tend to brake all the bloody time due to their proximity to the car in front thus making them part-time Corner Brakers.
4. BRAKER
Close cousin of Coner Braker, but far more annoying. As the name suggests, yes…they brake indiscriminately regardless of road and traffic condition.
5. VACATIONEERING TARDS
The anti-thesis of Ass Licker, Vacationeer Tards do not like the read ends of other cars’. In fact, they dislike rear-ends so much, they tend to keep their distance to up to 1 km away. If you’re the unfortunate car behind a Vacationeering Tard, please pray that there’re other empty lanes to overtake the Tard. If there’s none, flash the highlight. However, in my humble opinion, the flash doesn’t usually work, because Vacationeering Tards have no concept of a rear mirror (dislike rear-ends, no concept of rear mirrors, see the connection?). Personally, I have resorted to honking. Real long. However, bear in mind that this act might incite bullying from either your side or the Tard’s side…my advice is, prepare for battle.
6. HARDCORE STEERING FAN
Hardcore steering fans are oblivious to other vehicles. You can spot one from the way the car zips nonchalantly in and out of the lane without signalling. Yes, those that expect other drivers to telepathically know which random direction they want to go. Aside from causing traffic jam by catching other vehicles by surprise (thus causing multiple occurrences of emergency braking), they also are major culprits of car accidents.
7. UNIFORMED JESTERS
I suppose you know how I mean. Ever seen one conducting traffic that leaves you in complete speechlessness due to the very stupidity of it? Like one waving cars away on a straight road. Or remember that one who at a cross junction, the one who let cars from one direction to fill up the core of the junction before allowing another lane to proceed..or not proceed, depending on how you look at it. Uniformed Jesters are pest to Malaysia traffic like Mawi is to local entertainment.
There…a list of the causes of traffic jam in Malaysia. Please feel free to add more to the list!