I’ve been blogging for more than 2 years, discarding several blogs in the process and finally sticking to Narcissism is Necessary.
Pronunciation Key (nÃ¤rs-szm) also narÂ·cism (-szm)
1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself. See Synonyms at conceit.
2. A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
3. Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one’s own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.
4. The attribute of the human psyche charactized by admiration of oneself but within normal limits.
People have often mistaken the name of my blog for the person I really am, a vain, wicked and selfish narcissist. Perhaps I am a little bit of everything (aren’t we all?), but if I had to be truly grateful for one thing in my life, it would have to be narcissism, for the lack of better word.
It was narcissism that has saved me from an eating disorder. It was narcissism that has finally pushed me to seek and stay in a healthy relationship. It was narcissism that stopped me from spiraling down a well which depth was unknown. It was narcissism that had picked me up from the ground that I thought I would never stand on again. I am truly thankful that at a time when in spite of genuinely believing that I had lost everything, I was still able to produce within myself, a tiny dose of feeling people disdainfully address as narcissism, because it was this feeling that made me who I am today. And that is why, Narcissism is Necessary. At least to myself, anyway.
p/s: Oh did you notice…narcissism is not a person.
Kimberly is my name. Cun is Malay slang for cute/pretty.
Nowadays I cringe in embarrassment whenever I’m reminded of my former nicknames. I used to have very pretentious nicknames such as Kimberly Fitzgerald, Christina Da Vinci (I know! I know! :P) and Kimberly Mapother (derived from my love for Tom Cruise). I suppose the use of such nicknames has to do with the phases I identified with. Between the age of 14 and 17, I used to pretend to be 35 year old MILF and chatted up strangers in Mirc.
The thing was, they really believed me and in some twisted way, I felt damn bloody powerful. Hence the aristocratic sound (or was it my SPG tendency) to the names. Of course, today I’m a humbler, nicer, much mellowed down, ordinary girl-next-door *cough*, so Kimberlycun is more appropriate. At times, I use sunny^kimberly too.
21 year old Malaysian Hokkien girl with dreams of striking it rich and losing 5 kilos along the way. The thing that disturbs me most is that I do not have any activity that I could boast that I’m passionate about, aside from eating. I’ve been alleged a psychobitch during PMS but I’ve never deliberately spilt water on a stranger in the cinema.
- I don’t eat chicken buttock.
- The grossest stuff I’ve eaten was, I don’t know.
- I am very careful with my money.
I am currently reading 3 books at the same time. Since 1.5 years ago. I kept forgetting what I’d read and had to restart numerous times.
- They are Hillary Clinton’s famous memoir,
Manchester Slingback by Nicholas Blincoe and Strange Ways by Luc Lang. I tried to read Fabric of the Cosmos by Brian Greene, wahbiangâ€¦really cannot
- I buy cheap (but nice lah) clothes because I believe that you wear the clothes and not the other way round.
- I have had 4 wardrobe malfunctions.
- I have few friends and many acquaintances. I used to even disregard the latter.
- I am anal about matching the colours of my shoes and bags.
- If you found me ignoring you, that’s because I think you’ve taken advantage of me, twice.
- I play Grade Two organ. I learnt Grade One for four years. I am not that musically impaired. It’s just that the school was trying to leech off my fees. Really, okay.
- I am extremely proud of my Mom. Although she drives me to insanity at times.
- I was a top student from Year 4 till Form 3. Then I discovered boys and Mirc.
- I won a drawing contest when I was 11. The drawing was transferred onto the school’s bus stop and is still there today. I sincerely think they need to repaint it though
- I was a debating champion in high school. However, during the finals in a competition to fight for the coveted position of representing the state, I had a nervous breakdown. Murmured to the crowd for some grand 8 minutes.
- On why I had a nervous breakdown, my lovely teacher did not inform us that the finals was going to be held on the same day as the semi-finals, which left us less than two hours to prepare for the final debate after winning the semi-finals. The topic was, â€œSexual Education Should Be Made Compulsoryâ€ . We were the Opponents.
- I am still traumatised by that. No thanks to the fucker who uttered a tad too loud, â€œSo fucked up lah!â€ .
- Each and every fibre of my body believes that Malaysia’s education system is crap.
- I want to be a MILF.
- With a FILF for a hubby.
- I only want to have sons. I don’t know how my Mom does it, but I would have died if I were in her shoes.
- I am not single. And I’m very happy.
- My secret slimming weapon is hoola hoop.
- I am repulsed by people who have or have had extra marital affairs. They’re just fucking low class, nuf’ said.
- I adore push-up bras.
I really ought to be doing my papers.Yay!