Category: Emo & Personal

Don’t worry, be happy.

Hi everyone. You must have noticed that I’ve taken down some recent posts. Actually, I’ve only set them to private mode. Couldn’t help but feel even more vulnerable with my laundry out in the open. Things here are still status quo. But really, thanks for all your concern. I’m okay and I’ll recover.

On a funnier note, my friend J said he could definitely get me into this Reshmonu‘s music video. How fun is that? *grins* The audition was today, but I didn’t go. Partly cause I was feeling a tad bloated too. Just now he called and told me there’s another one coming this Wednesday (I don’t know the venue and time yet, I’ll post it here when I find out so you all can give it a shot too). I think I might just give it a go. Can appear on MTV, Channel [V] and hitz.tv wor….nothing to lose. Hehehe. Who knows I might even get spotted, land a hosting job and live happily ever after. Yes, that’s like my closet ambition and now it’s out in the open. Stop laughing.

over?

I think it’s pretty much over. He can’t still be asleep now. There’s no reply yet. My feelings? Just numb. My eyes are dry.

Whose wrong is it? Mine? His? He wants me to be understanding and I’m doing just that for close to 6 months. Yes, there was one tumultuous month where I was being a psychobitch but I thought we worked that one out. He has broken four promises that he’d be back but I accepted all his excuses nevertheless. Because I think a man ought to concentrate on his work and I shouldn’t add to his burden. I wanted to be this man’s wife. I was willing to forgo my family, friends and youth for him. I only want happiness for him and I’m willing to go to lenghts for that. All I want from him is to be sincere and honest to me. But now, now it only takes an sms to wrap it all up.

What happened? I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. What just happened? Was it all a dream? Have I been dreaming for 1.5 years? It was all so real. I’ve never really felt belonged until I knew him. What did I do wrong? Why is he doing this to me?