This is a way overdue post. Well guess what, Liam hasn’t needed to nurse since June this year!
I had never set a deadline for myself actually, I would be quite comfortable to nurse him till he enters kindie, about 4 perhaps? You can read about my breastfeeding here.
Awww, my baby 💟
But once I got pregnant, breastfeeding became rather unbearable. The sore nipples were no joke! And Liam seemed to have reverted to being an infant… from comfortably nursing twice a day (naptime and bedtime) to wanting it every few hours FML
I whined and complained for a while, hoping I would get used to the pain but alas, I realised I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my current pregnancy if I were still breastfeeding. So a plan was set to motion…
I stopped breastfeeding Liam in the day, which was easy enough as he just needed distractions….cartoons, snacks, toys – easy peasy. Everytime he lifted my top I would stop him, saying “Liam’s a big boy, no more naynay”. He would grumble but stopped rummaging. He understood.
Was he sucking his toes as replacement to the boobs?? Silly thoughts like this crossed my mind.
The difficult part was bedtime, how was Liam going to sleep without my magic milk??
So the plan was to have my husband sleep with him while I moved to the guestroom. Surprisingly, Liam was alright. As long he didn’t see me he wouldn’t pine for me. This went on for about 4 days. He cried for me on some nights but not in an off-the-plantation sort of way.
Did he hate me???? 😭
In fact I was the one having trouble adjusting. I missed my baby so much, everytime I saw him I felt like offering him my breasts. I felt like I was being a mean mother, denying him of what he needed. It’s a mixture of very complex emotions – I miss the bonding and the closeness, but also relieved at the prospect of freedom.
Then, by chance a girly staycation materialised during the weaning period. This time I really had to be away from Liam for 3 whole days.
I was thankful that we had already started the weaning process, and now without me in the house, the light at the end of the tunnel was in sight.
He would most likely forget about the naynays by the time I’m home. The very thought depressed and elated me #cannotwin
So I went on my holidays sans Liam and sans husband. I had a wonderful time with the girls. By the end of the trip, my boobs had shrunk to almost half the size they were #damnit
Last memory of my pre-deflated fun pillows.
The first night I was home after my staycation I decided to move back into the master bedroom. Expecting Liam to lift up my top for a suckle…well, he didn’t. Instead he just laid his head on my shoulder and carressed my arm and eventually, he fell asleep.
My baby was no longer a baby 😭 I was both proud and sad!
Fast forward to present time, well he hasn’t had a lick of breastmilk since. Nowadays when he sees me in the nude he would point at my nips and mumble something but I don’t know what.
My boy is now a carbo loading monster.
I no longer feel guilty or unneeded as a mother. I am still his primary source of comfort… I mean he runs to hug me if I was away for a bit :)
The days of breastfeeding seem such a lifetime ago! Am glad I did it for almost 2 years, it started out tough but once the nasty bits were over it’s a very enjoyable experience, I am glad I did it and thanks to the support of my husband and also Liam’s paediatrician (he was adamant on keeping Liam on breastmilk that he fed Liam glucose solution in NICU for a few days while waited for my milk to kick in).
Also many thanks to my husband for being an ever reliable partner in the weaning process, couldn’t have done it without you!
So there, story of how I weaned Liam off. To mummies thinking of doing the same, it’s possible!