April 14, 2014 - Narcissism is Necessary

Archive | April 14, 2014

Do unto others as you would have them do to you – the parenting edition.

I was just going to post this on FB but felt it’s a bit too long. So here we go…

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Since finding out that we’re going to become parents ourselves, I have begun to realise, more than ever, how important it is to work on my personal attitude, my perspective towards life, my views of other people and my words.

It is important because I realise that whatever I do or say will inevitably affect my children.

If I were negative, they will grow up to be negative. If I had no manners, they will grow up with no manners. If I were lazy, they will become lazy. If I had no opinions, they will become spineless. If I continued cussing, they will grow up cussing a lot. If I made life decisions without researching and studying, they too will become hasty and stupid with their decisions in life. If I lived a mediocre life, I sure as hell shouldn’t expect them to miraculously become the creme de la creme of society. If I lived a life of blaming others, they will blame me in return.

Giving birth is not noble, it doesn’t take a genius to get knocked up and push a baby out.

A child does not choose to be born, you force them into this world and thus you willingly shoulder the burden of raising them. Don’t act like you did them a favour.

And that’s why, children owe parents nothing. Not time, not service and certainly not money.

Whatever that children give to their parents when they’re old are given out of love, not because they owe the parents anything. So ask yourself, have you raised your children with love?

Have you given them the tools to be independent adults with financial knowledge before expecting a monthly allowance? Have you given them the positivity, support and encouragement before demanding them to spend time with you? Have you instilled in them the importance of loyalty before demanding the same from them? Have you politely conversed with them before getting upset with them for speaking rudely to you?

Oh, you worked hard to pay for your kids’ toys and school? Well done, you.

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Some parents wonder why their children dislike being with them. Well, I wonder whether these parents have reflected on themselves?

Have you been a nice, positive person that doesn’t zap off someone’s energy? Have you been kind and encouraging? Have you been emotionally supportive? Have you been polite?

A friend told me she mentioned to her parents that she got a raise, cause she wanted to share her good news. Instead of being proud and happy for her daughter, her parents told her she could now give them more money. And they wonder why the daughter doesn’t want to talk to them much.

A mother complains that her son in her 20s speaks really rudely to her. I told her to be patient, until I saw for myself how she spoke to that son and her other children. Well, lets just say children take after their parents.

I don’t expect our kids to take care of us when we’re old and frail but if they do, I sure hope it’s out of love, enjoyment and appreciation. Not because they think they owe me their lives.

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