Jizzgasmic Pork Meatballs Pasta

Honestly, I’m not a big fan of meatballs. The ones sold outside tend to be too dense or too dry or too bland. My other half, on the other hand, is a meatball connoisseur. He likes ’em small, big, juicy, cheesy, loosely stuffed or even dense. Yeah, he loves his meatballs.

And because he loves meatballs, and I love him, so I decided to make him his beloved meatballs for dinner….with a tiny wee bit of Asian twist. I decided to make ones that I think I might like – not too dense and very crunchy on the inside.

The ingredients that you need are:

• 300+ grams of minced pork
• 200ml of bread crumbs (you can use store bought ones, but mine are homemade by the bf’s mom. If you’re feeling adventurous, check out how to make breadcrumbs here)
• 3-4 strands of long beans (kacang panjang)
• 1 chilli
• 1.5 tablespoon of dried basil (or fresh ones, you lucky bastard)
• 1 can of plum tomatoes
• 1 tablespoon of brown sugar (or ordinary sugar)
• some vodka (or white wine or even water if you’ve got no choice -_-)
• celery salt/ordinary salt + pepper
• 3 tablespoon of minced garlic
• pasta of your choice

Oh and having a mixing bowl is very useful for this recipe!

Lets start!

# – Dice one onion, throw into mixing bowl.

# – Dice long beans and throw onto diced onions.

# – Dice chilli and throw onto diced onions on top of diced onions.

# – Pour bread crumbs into your bowl of onions, long beans and chilli mix.

# – Now chuck minced pork into the mix.

# – Add 1.5 tablespoon of dried basil. Of course, you can use fresh ones!

# – And next, about one tablespoon of celery salt, of which you can replace with 1/2 a tablespoon of ordinary salt. But seriously, I don’t think I can live without celery salt ever again!

# – Lastly, a generous sprinkling of coarse black pepper.

Now here comes the FUN part!

# – With your naked fingers, squeeze and mix everything till combined :)

And because it’s impossible to take pictures while shaping meatballs, I’ll skip the process :P

# – With slightly moist hands, just roll about a tablespoon and a half of mixture and form a ball. They should look like this :D

# – Now heat up oil in a saucepan and pan fry the balls!

# – After about a minute, turn them around so they’re evenly cooked.

# – Remove from saucepan when the meat has turned white.

# – Be gentle while handling your balls, or they will disintegrate like this :(

# – But do not worry, just squash the damaged ball into smithereens and incorporate it into the sauce ;)

# – Now there will be a lot of onions, bits and bobs left in the pan after the frying. DO NOT DISCARD them. Instead, pour some vodka in. (BTW, right after this picture was taken, I flambe-d my own hand…do not handle the camera while pouring alcohol into your cooking at the same time…it is stupid. Very stupid)

# – Scrap all burnt goodies from the pan and add some minced garlic into the mix.

# – In the meantime, open a can of plum tomatoes and cut them into smaller pieces if they’re not already cut.

# – Pour the tomatoes into your garlicky awesomesauce. Mix well.

# – Add one tablespoon of brown sugar or ordinary sugar. Stir well.

# – And now….add the balls back into the sauce, baybeh!

# – Gently stir them around a bit so they’re well coated by the tomato sauce.

# – Now this recipe is enough for 3 people although 2 of us managed to clear it…so cook pasta for 3. Any pasta, I used a combo of angelhair and spaghetti, just because.

# – Drain pasta, spoon sauce and balls over pasta and slice cheddar over it. Yes, I’m using a potato peeler, don’t judge!

# – Behold, the Jizzgasmic Pork Meatballs Pasta.

# – A look into the ball.

# – Trust me, this is the way to a man’s heart, the Jizzgasmic Pork Meatballs Pasta.

This is also by far the best dish I’ve ever whipped up on my own. I shouldn’t use expletives in a supposedly family friendly post but yeah, this shit is fucking A.