September 28, 2009 - Narcissism is Necessary

Archive | September 28, 2009

How to get fat and farty.

Can’t pick yourself up after a bad day? Eat this. Feeling fat and farty already? Even more reason to eat this. I call this dish “Fatty & Gassy TM”.

I got this recipe from John and while I think I’ve deviated a bit from his original idea, I think the dish turned up pretty good.

First up, you need the following ingredients to whip up this dish:


#1 – Rice enough for two people.


#2 – Baked beans. We prefer Heinz.


#3 – And the star of the dish – SPAM! Once this goes into your inbox, cannot delete one. Sorry, lame.


#4 – Olive oil because it’s healthier although there’s really no point for this dish.

Cook the rice however you like as long as the end result is white, fluffy rice. While the rice is cooking, start on the other ingredients.


#5 – Pop out the Spam.


#6 – Cut it into cubes and separate into two portions.


#7 – Now pop the beans into a pot. On medium heat till it kinda simmers, you definitely do not want to burn it.


#8 – Pop one portion of Spam into the baked beans and mix it up.


#9 – You’ll get this disgusting baked beans and Spam concoction which smells kinda heavenly if you’re into that sort of thing.

Time to deal with the other portion of Spam. Now, pick one cube up and pop it into your mouth. Chew. Swallow. Repeat.

Just kidding!


#10 – Heat up some olive oil in a pan.


#11 – Dump the remaining Spam into the oil. Brown the Spam cubes on all sides.


#12 – Till they become like this. Like croutons, only instead of bread they’re made up of lard and pork meat.


#13 – Remove Spam cubes from pan and drain oil.

And you’re almost done!

Scoop a bowl of rice, dump it onto the plate. Then pour baked beans + Spam mixture over the rice. Lastly, sprinkle Spam croutons all over. Just like this:


#14 – Tadaa!


#15 – A closeup of Fatty & Gassy TM. YUMMY!

Till later, poot poot.

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